We meet them, we bond with them, we feel close to them, but how do we know if they love us?
How do we know that he’s really interested in all of us and that it’s not just a passing attraction? These are all questions that plague us before things get off the ground, but also at the beginning and sometimes even throughout a relationship.
While the best solution would of course be to ask him directly, there are certain signs that you can spot in your relationship to see where his feelings for you stand. It’s up to you to spot these signs and understand them. You just have to be careful not to over-interpret them in one direction or the other.
Finding out if he loves you – Read him!
The best way to find out how he feels about you is to get to know him inside, i.e. to know how to read his eyes and gestures. To do this, you’ll have to learn to trust what you feel, but also be careful not to over-interpret things.
To avoid this, think about his looks and gestures when you’re in a quiet, restful place.
Avoid thinking about it after a bad day or when you’ve had a row with this man: you’ll tend to take everything the wrong way. If you’re really worried that you won’t be able to be objective in your judgement, ask a trusted friend what she thinks, what she has noticed that’s special. Wait until she has given you her opinion before giving you yours, so as not to influence her.
It is often said that the eyes are the mirror of the soul, and this is what you are going to find out by learning to read her eyes. A simple look can express many things: joy, sadness, disdain, but also love and passion.
To find out what feelings his eyes are expressing, you mustn’t scrutinise him intensely, with your eyes riveted on him, analysing him like an object of study. The risk is that he will feel uncomfortable and find your behaviour very strange. Try to sense his feelings through the glances you catch.
Bear in mind, too, that he may be giving you his most tender looks when you’re not looking. An expression of tenderness, even if it’s not all-consuming passion, is already a very good sign.
Gestures are easier to control and we don’t all have the same habit of getting close to each other.
So you have to learn to read your gestures according to your personal habits. Is he usually very close to other women? Very tactile? Or is he rather aloof when it comes to a physical approach?
It’s with this understanding in mind that you can begin to read his gestures objectively. Look for signs of affection and tenderness. If these gestures, which could be those of a best friend, are linked to gestures that make you feel his desire for you, then he most certainly has feelings for you. A man in love will want you physically. The two types of gesture must therefore be combined.
What he does and what he says will tell you whether he loves you or not…
For you to be able to form an opinion and know whether he loves you, you need to spend time with him. If he has feelings for you, he’ll naturally want to see you and do things together.
But you may not have the same desires or the same way of spending time together: whereas you tend to go out with friends and lovers, doing special things, he’ll just be happy to see you, on a daily basis, without doing anything special.
Or the other way round. In either case, you need to know what he wants so as not to misinterpret things. Nevertheless, if he loves you and you don’t have the same desires for the time you spend together, he’ll make an effort to please you and do what you like.
During these times, whether you’re with friends or just the two of you, out and about or at home, you’ll be able to feel his feelings as well as possible. Not only by how close he is to you and what he does, but also by what he says and how he talks about you.
For example, does he pay any special attention to you? They can be as simple as giving you the most pleasant place to be, or as touching as a little note, present or other thing that he knows will please you. This also applies throughout your relationship. Small gestures are what allow us to show and confirm our love for the other person, to show that we care about them and are thinking about them, that we want to please them.
How do I know if he likes me?
What he says is also important: when he promises you something, like an outing, does he really mean it? When he talks about you, what vocabulary does he use? Does he have a different, special way of speaking when he talks to you?
Does he have particular intonations?
All this will help you to detect his feelings. But it’s not just the way you say things that’s important, the content of your discussions is too.
Does he confide in you? Does he allow you a little more access to his secret garden, to get to know him better and therefore understand him better? Of course, not everyone is good at talking about themselves, but love makes you want to share personal things. Sometimes it just takes a little time for trust to really take root between you.
He respects you = He loves you (well, almost…)
This last point is essential: a person who loves you is someone who respects you. They shouldn’t try to change you or make you do things you don’t want to do. If they love you, they love you completely. It’s true that sometimes your faults can irritate him, you’re not perfect, but that’s what makes him happy. But he shouldn’t try to change you. If he loves you, he’ll try to discuss the things that don’t work with you, so that everyone makes efforts and compromises to work things out. It’s not up to one or the other of you to make the effort and adapt; these are things you both have to take part in.
This is especially true for couples who are already together. If you’re not yet together and you’re trying to find out how she feels, respect is also important. This can come through the way he talks about you, his intonations, his turns of phrase. But just as if you were in a relationship, it means accepting you as a whole person. With your qualities, of course, but also your little faults.
Similarly, whether you’re together or not, he has to respect your tastes and what you like to do. If you’re used to seeing other guys, this can also help you discover his feelings: a man in love is often a jealous man. Of course, it doesn’t have to be unhealthy, but a little jealousy from time to time will show you that he cares about you. As long as he lets you meet the people you want to meet and respects your friendships, that’s not a problem. Respect also means that he trusts you