By implementing these three steps, your relationship with your parents will become more harmonious and you will be able to fully express your authentic personality.

A good friend recently shared with me that although he considers himself mature in every way, he still hears his parents’ voices in his head. Sometimes extremely critical and challenging, they create a state of inner turmoil for him that is totally different from what he projects on the inside.

Each one of us is affected to a greater or lesser degree by this problem. But until we make peace with our parents and integrate them into our lives, we will attract similar situations with other people. Here’s what you need to do to escape this repetitive pattern.

Forgive your parents.
Forgiving isn’t necessarily easy. It’s not enough to forgive with your mind or say you’ve forgiven someone. The process goes deep inside you, in your heart and soul.

But consider that your parents did what they knew and could do best. If they didn’t show their love with hugs and words, they didn’t know how. Moreover, we are born into a certain family for a certain purpose. And part of that is to heal past hurts and traumas and become better human beings. Your parents, when they hurt you unintentionally, were your teachers.

Make a list of all the good things in your life that you owe to your parents.
For a long time, when I talked about my father, I talked about how overbearing and stern he was. Lately, however, I have chosen to tell a different story. How he instilled in me a passion for reading and encouraged me to write. And how one snowy night, I found him waiting for me in front of the block at 1am because I didn’t have a mobile phone at the time. If I could still, I would hug him and tell him I loved him. Do that while you still can.

Talk to your inner child.
They say we get emotionally stuck at the age of trauma. A trauma can be the simple fact that your mother dropped you off at daycare on your first day and you thought she was never coming back. That’s why it’s important to connect with your inner child, to make them feel safe and loved, to talk to them about you and your life now. Use meditation to connect with your inner child.