Let’s face it, no one is completely themselves at the beginning of a relationship. This is not a bad thing, of course, as gradually discovering and getting to know each other is part of the excitement, and it also allows the parties to keep their mystery, which is very seductive for the other. The problem arises when you’re with a man who would bring the stars down from the sky for you at first, but as he gets used to having you around, he somehow forgets his chivalrous side.
And it’s even worse if you don’t notice any of this at all – not even that your lover seems to be a completely different person. We don’t blame you, that’s love. But now it’s time to open your eyes: if you’re noticing the following in your relationship, chances are your partner is a real jerk!
You’re stressed about it
Whether you’re chewing over a mean remark or worrying if he’s going to ditch your plans for a beer with a mate again, if you’re anxious about it, it’s a very bad sign. Headaches, queasy stomach, fearfully checked messages: sound familiar? If so, you shouldn’t stay with him any longer, because you should never feel like this in a healthy relationship.
…who is your friend or family member. He is probably doing this to make himself look better in your eyes. That’s why they’re all stupid, all losers and none of them are good enough for you or him – except of course him, who is perfect. Don’t let him fool you!
And every single time. If you have a joint activity that you’re looking forward to, he’ll either cancel it at the last minute or spoil it with a silly argument. Does that make sense?
It doesn’t matter if it’s a new job opportunity or a new hairstyle, it’s as if he just doesn’t care what happens to you. If you post a photo on your Insta page all your friends like it, but somehow their likes never come.
It drags down your taste
You don’t listen to good music, you recommend boring movies, the T-shirt you bought is lame… somehow nothing you do is good enough and it expresses it, even if it offends you to the point of bloody insult. Believe us, there will be someone who will appreciate it, you just have to find them!
And unfortunately, not just yours. It’s not necessarily that he’s being unfaithful or flirting with other girls, it’s just that he’s letting them flirt with him and enjoying it. This sends the message that he wants other girls to want him, so he can find some new alternatives… and they’re you.
He doesn’t check in in the morning that he’s up, but he doesn’t even check in after work to see how you’re doing or if you’re even alive. This can drag on for one, two or even three days, depending on your tolerance level. But what do you do? And why doesn’t he want to be with you? And of course: how come he doesn’t care about you?
He doesn’t make plans with you
Not just plans, but not in the long term. Of course, in a relationship of a couple of months this is not an expected factor, but if you’ve been together for several years and you’re nowhere in the process of planning your next move, he’s probably not the right guy for you.
We’re not suggesting that you end your relationship immediately. Rather, it’s just a food for thought so that you can start talking about how to have a more pleasant, healthy relationship that you can both be happy with.