Mobile phone addiction isn’t just a fancy phrase. There are even people who almost have their phones glued to their palms. And just as you see children or teenagers who can’t tear themselves away from tablets and video games, adults can be captivated to the point of dysfunction by the tiny devices and screens that offer you, just a click away, an extremely rich virtual universe and stimulation that you end up needing like air. All this makes you less present in real life, which suffers in various aspects of it, including your relationship.
You’re just not paying attention
Remember how annoying it is when you talk to your partner about something and he can’t even hear you because he’s immersed in the football match on TV? That’s pretty much what happens when you’re caught up in that constant scrolling on social media. Your brain invests its energy in the screen, and your attention for your partner is directed there.
You’re missing tender moments
In the morning, as soon as you wake up you put your hand on your phone. You keep it close anyway, on your bedside table. You forget about tenderness. Of those moments of connection and cuteness when you’re still under the covers and they can be your special moments before everyone returns to their daily responsibilities and the fast pace of life.
During the day you chat through messages, call each other, send pictures, and wake up in the evening with nothing left to say to each other. That’s because you’ve already caught up with absolutely everything in real time. Sure, this innovation in technology has many advantages and makes our lives easier, but at the same time it can significantly impoverish face-to-face interaction.
No more focus on the experience
You’re on a holiday, and you’re preoccupied with taking pictures of places, taking selfies. Or you’re asking him to take pictures of you at those angles that work to your advantage, and in the end it comes out a real photo shoot, which often makes him uncomfortable. Worrying about fabulous social media posts disconnects you from your partner and the experience you have together. This also applies to going out when you’re no longer having a conversation, but each of you is tapping away on your phone. The same recipe applies when you’re answering work-related emails and phone calls from the beach and mentally you’re not there.
They’re like rust to the couple. No one posts that the bills have come in too high, they’re having problems at work, or they’ve been fighting with their parents forever. It’s pictures of different places, bouquets of flowers, extravagant gifts. And that’s how the pressure on the partner comes about. Because here’s what your ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend does for her, and your partner doesn’t come home with a whole flower shop. You stop noticing gestures that matter or that relate to real life, to your social and financial status. Instead you live in an imaginary bubble with unrealistic expectations, without properly valuing the man next to you.