How do you tell the difference between a fleeting infatuation, and love that can last a lifetime? We have the answer.
Do you have a friend who seems to have more former flames than they can count, or do you yourself jump from relationship to relationship, always thinking you’ve found the love of your life? No, not all relationships can last forever, and it doesn’t always have to mean that the love wasn’t “real”.
Love is passionate, not indifferent
It is said that hate is the emotion closest to love, which should explain how quickly that nice selfless love turns into blind hatred and anger at a break-up. When you’re just in love with someone, that rage never really comes. You might get paranoid, feel anxious or get annoyed, but the relationship isn’t nice and important enough to stir up real hatred inside you.
Love is selfless, not self-centred
If you love someone, it’s all about that person. For once, you want to put someone else’s needs ahead of your own. The only reason you want to pamper the person you’re in love with is because you don’t want to be alone. Everything you do for your partner is really stuff you do for yourself.
Love is hard, falling in love is easy
Love is a purifying and beautiful thing, but all great life-changing things require work. You have to grow your garden. In love, there is nothing that needs to be watered and tended. The only problems you have revolve around when you can see each other and if the “spark” is there that very night. The partner in a crush is static. It will not grow and change with you.
Love is liberating, not possessive
In a good love relationship, you know the other person loves you, even if they aren’t there at the time to say so. One bad day doesn’t mean you’ll break up. If it’s just a crush, you’ll never know where you have the other person if they’re not with you. When you’re not with each other, you can’t help but wonder what they’re doing, who they’re with.
Love is empowering, but it’s not a power struggle
More than anything else, love can make you feel that anything is possible. It gives you a sense of freedom, and you’re ready to face anything. In love, it can often become a contest to be in charge. You want to make sure you don’t get the short end of the stick.
Love is timeless, infatuation is temporary
When you love someone – really love someone – that’s all that matters. Whether it works out or doesn’t, they are the love of your life. A crush doesn’t work like that. A crush always has a deadline. A crush is kind of not real, it’s magical and wonderful, but it’s just the glue to true love. At any moment, either of you could get bored, or find that true love elsewhere. Real love has no expiration date, it has the ability to last forever.
