She is self-sufficient. She’s always known what she needs and what she has to do all by herself. Nothing can come on a silver platter to her. She had to learn everything in life through hard work and her steadiness. She is not afraid to do things herself. She has been through everything and that has taught her that the only one she can trust is herself. It’s not easy for her to open up to someone and let them love her.
She, who has learned to do everything herself and never rely on anyone, can’t imagine losing herself in a knot of confusing feelings for another person. But believe it or not, she can love and her love is the same as hers – cruelly self-contained and ridiculously embarrassing
When she falls in love with you, it’s something that lasts as long as you don’t break it yourself by doing something selfish and stupid. She will never be the one to break her promise to love you. This tears her apart because in a way, she wants to give all of herself to someone who deserves it, but she doesn’t want to lose herself.
It’s very difficult to love her, but it’s also damn it. She’s afraid she’ll stumble upon someone who won’t understand her and give her the breathing space she needs.
She’s afraid she’ll be able to lean on them and that she’ll lose herself, but at the same time, she’ll give someone her all.
She wants to include him in her life. She wants them to have a bond and to love together. Even if this scares her, she wants it. Her thoughts are her biggest problem here. She’s trying to defuse them.
She’s trying to fight her reasons for not needing anyone. They tell her that she is already complete and that someone else might destroy her while her heart also struggles to win. Her heart, her emotional side which is as strong as her racial side, wants her to give in to joy, to give in to love.
So she finds herself holding him close, squeezing him, kissing him, giving all of herself to him. Nothing else matters. Her struggle between reason and heart is over. The heart is used. She is now dependent on his love. She now relies on his loving touch and his clever words. She is now in love.
That’s when she becomes vulnerable. That’s when she loses herself because she had nothing under control. She’s completely open to you. She’s suddenly fully aware of the situation she’s in. She’s let you in. She’s proud of you and you can easily hurt her. So, she pulls back.
She’s building this big emotional wall around herself because she’s realized that she’s completely naked, for all to see and she’s at your mercy. She’s scared. To be only self-sufficient or just emosjonell is impossible for her. She can’t choose to be just one of those things and yet it’s impossible to be both.
She has to find the balance. If she is independent, she demands love and when she loves, she misses freedom. She has to be true to herself. She must remain independent and trust herself the most. She knows that her decisions are the best for her. She knows that her thoughts will never lure her, but she can’t be afraid of love too much.
You must show her that there is a balance between the two. You must make her realise that even if she falls in love, she will not lose herself. She won’t lose the ability to make up her own mind.
Help her to be herself and help her to enjoy her emotional side, because that’s a side of her too – not just her logic and thoughts. She is a strong woman. She’s an emotional woman. She’s the perfect mix of both.