Narcissists are masters of manipulation. This makes a relationship extremely difficult. Here’s how to tell when your narcissistic partner is manipulating you and your feelings.
There’s a saying that you can’t love others until you love yourself. This is certainly true in many situations; being at peace with yourself makes it much easier to have a healthy relationship. But self-love can also become independent. Then it becomes narcissism.
But the dangerous thing about a relationship with a narcissist is the manipulation. Your partner can wrap you around their finger and suddenly have you doing things you don’t recognize yourself for? Watch out.
Because even those who think they have a good understanding of human nature can fall victim to a narcissist – because they play with our feelings so skillfully that we rarely notice.
he uses his importance as an excuse
It’s all about him. But a narcissist would never tell you so. Rather, he wraps his self-love in a victim role and consistently exploits it.
What does this look like in everyday life? Some examples: He would love to come to dinner with your family – but without him, the project at work will never get done. The boss has explicitly asked for him – although he would so much rather be with you. His friend urgently needs his help – only he can stand by him in the situation. In this way, a narcissist always puts his needs in the center, but manipulates you so much that you don’t even notice it. Rather, he gives you the feeling that he himself is the good guy, but that the world needs him more than it needs you.
he makes fun of your feelings
And thus constantly gives you the feeling of being in the wrong. In fact, he can’t even help it: Narcissists have difficulty empathizing with other people. Empathy is a foreign word for many. Therefore, they simply don’t understand many problems – humor is a way to deal with them. By doing so, he offends your feelings so much that you suddenly question them yourself.
a narcissist makes you feel flawed
Let’s not get it wrong: everyone has flaws, and that’s fine. But it’s not polite to keep rubbing it in someone’s face – especially your partner’s.
By the way, with this game he manipulates twice, you and himself.
Often a narcissist deliberately picks out your flaws and uses them against you when you are vulnerable. You feel uncomfortable and absurdly look up to him even more. This is because a narcissistic partner often holds your weaknesses against you in comparison to his strengths. At the same time, he manipulates himself. Narcissists pretend to be arrogant and self-confident. But this self-love is often just a way to hide his insecurity. It makes him feel better when you feel uncomfortable. This paradox does not belong in any relationship – and yet it is one of the most popular mind games of a narcissist.