The stages of a couple: from meeting to breaking up


Step 1: The meeting

Step 1 may vary depending on the person and the meeting. There are two steps:

Love at first sight: The famous, long-awaited love at first sight, that timeless moment when the world stops turning and the light only falls on one and the same person. When we fall in love at first sight, we don’t really fall in love with the person we meet, we fall in love with the idea we have of them and the fantasized relationship we could live with them.

From reality to dream: This case is more common (80%): we meet a person, we distinguish some of their characteristics in a more or less objective way. The more the days go by, the better we are with her, it’s the crescendo of love.

In both cases, this first stage can be compared to a dream, to a beautiful idyll where only the qualities are there.

Step 2: The state of love

Your relationship has been going on for a little while, you are happy, well in your sneakers, there aren’t really any shadows in the picture. You both have plans for the future: why not buy together? A child? A dog? Life’s goals seem to be common to both of you and everything is going for the best in a state of semi-reality.

During this so-called “passion phase”, we have this intoxicating feeling that with this person we will only experience happy days. That no shadow could come to tarnish this marvelous picture. So, we often want to rush things: to see each other often, to live together, to have children?

Then the second phase comes…

Step 3: Routine

Routine can hinder many couples when it is not accepted by both partners. The real problem is not having a few habits in the relationship… The problem exists from the moment both partners think that the couple is a natural state and from the moment there is love, there is no effort to be made. If you don’t feed your couple, if you don’t spice it up, if you are not ready to compromise for the other, then the relationship is hardly viable.

Step 5: Clinical death
“If the couple doesn’t react, they quickly find themselves in a critical situation. Everyday life and reality carry all their weight and all traces of dreams have disappeared. This is the phase of clinical death: two former lovers are struggling to share the household and child rearing burdens in a parento-economic couple. We then only mime the game of love without believing in it anymore”. 
Step 6: The break-up
Breakage is the ultimate phase, the phase that proves that not enough effort has been made to avoid the shock. The slightest behaviour, the slightest statement made by the other person becomes simply unbearable, it is no longer possible to endure even his presence. The negative points have accumulated, the finger has not been put on them (not enough or too late). You feed yourself emotionally through the fantasy of a new partner.

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