Funny, intelligent, cultured: on paper, you have everything to please. Unfortunately, all your encounters are ephemeral and sometimes even frustrating. While this new relationship as a couple, you have been hoping, wishing, dreaming, desiring it for a very long time. You always put yourself in the head that facing a life together is much simpler than doing it alone. But how can you go from a simple meeting to a real relationship that lasts?
This state of love is a dream for most people registered on dating sites. They quickly realized how much this feeling can make life more beautiful and enjoyable. And luckily, you’ve just met a person with whom the current is flowing perfectly. Even if you’ve only seen each other twice, you already feel that your story is going to be the best of all the stories you’ve ever had. But beware, there are a few things to keep in mind when moving from a meeting to a lasting relationship.
Get to know each other first
A love relationship is built around two people. There is you and then the other. Before entering into a lasting relationship with this person, you must learn to take stock of yourself. Do you really know each other? What do you expect from this long-lasting relationship that you dream so much about? But in addition to all this, you also need to know precisely your values and principles. What are the points you can’t close your eyes to?
When I ask you to know a little bit more about yourself, I’m not asking you to make a list about the kind of movie you like, your favorite food, the color of the shirt that makes you fall for it. Getting to know each other is above all about highlighting the values that are important to you. Getting to know each other means defining what you expect from a long-term relationship.
Are you the type of person who wants to share everything with your partner or rather the opposite? Do you want to have several friends in common or would you prefer that everyone has their own circle of friendship? But knowing each other also means understanding all the little things that make you feel loved by another person: the attentive looks, the unexpected touch, the small daily attentions, the expression of affection in public, etc.
Stop hoping for the ideal person
If you’re a woman, who was your favorite prince charming in cartoons? If you are a man, who is the actress who always made you fantasize? No matter what your answers are, you have to understand that there is really no chance to meet these people in real life. The person who will share your life may be very beautiful in your eyes, she will surely have all the qualities you expect from a man, but she is a human being. And like every human being on earth, he also has flaws. And if you try to change her bad habits, you’ve already lost the battle before you’ve even started it. In order to start a lasting relationship in the right way, you have to make compromises. To begin, you need to get rid of the ideal you’ve had since
This person you just met is probably not perfect. But it’s not the little flaws that should undo his charm in your eyes. If he or she talks too loudly, you can talk to him or her about it (not during your first date of course). But the goal of this relationship should not be to change the other person or to try to make him or her become a person she is not. Would you like someone more cuddly? More romantic? More caring? Give her time to learn how to be one. You need to understand that everyone has their own way of declaring their love. You can tell her what pleases you, but don’t force anything and don’t always insist on it. By appreciating the way he loves you, you put all the chances on your side to live a relationship that lasts.
Talk about what you mean by “couple”.
When you have finished making a point about what you expect from a couple, you need to make another one, but this time, together. However, it’s not a matter of making an appointment to talk only about this topic. This discussion should be done gradually. You can even give yourself some time to think about specific questions that the other has asked. If you really want a lasting relationship, you shouldn’t scare the other person away with an hour of complicated questions and answers. The goal is to clearly define each other’s expectations so that together we can decide if the story can continue.
Even though I often tell you that love stories are different from each other, there are still a few stages that are common to any story: first there is the wonderful encounter where you begin to understand that it is your soul mate that is coming before you (as you read this article, you are definitely at that stage) and then comes the moment of disappointment where you begin to understand that it is not as you originally imagined it to be. In the beginning, adaptation is required. You may also have several questions that remain unanswered. Then comes the time when you decide to stop or continue the relationship. If you decide to give this love affair a chance, which admittedly started off rather well, you need to understand the other person’s expectations and all the little things that make him or her feel that you really love him or her. In short, if you really want to have a lasting relationship, you have to give yourself the means to do so.