The highest aspiration that everyone has is to love and be loved back, and on this hinge the whole scaffolding of an authentic love relationship revolves. Often, however, the idea of finding true love discourages us! How many times have we fallen in love with the wrong person? Sure, sometimes it is the people who disappoint us, turning out to be different from what we expected, or breaking their promises. Other times, however, it is our own ideas that disappoint us, turning out to be illusory or unfounded. There are those who have said that true love can be recognized right away, and in some cases it is, but for the rest you have to follow a path to be taken together, to understand whether who you have by your side is the right person.
Love has steps that only time will tell if they lead to true love. There are no sure steps, no manual that will lead you to true love but if you follow this guide, you will be in the right direction.
No one will be able to find me attractive, love me and want to be with me if I don’t feel good about myself first. If I don’t like myself, if I think I’m not worth it, I will introject dissatisfaction and insecurity, and that will not benefit me if I date. So let’s stop feeling sorry for ourselves and start accepting ourselves for who we are.
Know what you want
Do I really want the right person? Then I will have to make an effort to go a little beyond the simple definition of a man. Believing that we are so hopeless can lead us to think that any man/woman will do. I we are basically settling for it! Let’s get clear about what we want and avoid wasting time by dating individuals who waste our energy: yet another wrong person.
Look in the right places
Clubs and parties are definitely places where it is more possible to meet more people, but I assure you that they are not necessarily the best opportunities to meet someone/people, especially if you are not used to these kinds of situations.
It seems obvious (not to everyone), but to find the right person you have to look in the places you normally hang out, because that is precisely where there is a greater chance of finding a compatible person. Of course, you don’t have to be a hermit; it may be a good idea to join a gym, volunteer, have more of a social life where you work or in the places you already frequent…..
Apply the two-date rule
Let’s face it, the first date turns out to be a disaster. Even if we are tempted not to go out with this person again, my advice is to give her a second chance. The first date is stressful and often overloaded with expectations that make us behave abnormally. Let’s promise to go out for the second time, we have nothing to lose anyway, at worst we will find confirmation of the first impression.
Take care of yourself
I’m single, but that doesn’t mean I can let myself go. If we want to attract someone’s attention, we learn to love ourselves. We need to be able to look in the mirror and feel comfortable, satisfied with our appearance and the image we give.
Telling people you want to meet someone
There is no shame in telling people we barely know (and even friends) that we would like to meet someone. Who knows maybe then we will meet the love of our lives.
Thinking outside the box
What kind of partner am I interested in? Tall, handsome, dark but blue-eyed. Well, I guess I’m limiting my range a little too much; so I just risk never finding someone to date?
Having clear ideas about the partner we’d like is fine, but we need to be open and think outside the fixed box. Who knows maybe our ideal partner is just the opposite!
Putting ourselves to the test
Putting ourselves to the test is good for us because it forces us to unplug from our own protected nest, strengthening our self-esteem. If we fear that we will never get to know someone, or are depressed, we need more than ever, to go out and face our fears. It will have beneficial effects on our self-love, give us more strength and make us realize that we can do anything.
No to despair
Desperation has the same devastating effect as self-deprecation. We can call ourselves desperate if we have gotten to the point that any person we would be okay with dating, any person we date immediately becomes a potential partner and we are on his or her tail even though it is clear that he or she is not interested.
Falling into the trap of hopelessness is easy, but the good news is that getting out of it is just as easy, as long as we remember that we are single, not lonely or weird, and definitely lovely people!
Think positive about people
We avoid saying things like “They’re all the same,” “True love doesn’t exist,” or “The best ones are already committed.” It might make us feel better for a while, but in fact we are just training our brains not to want a partner all the time.
Use your head
On depressed days we have a tendency to dramatize and fear that no one will like us and that we will end up alone. If this kind of thinking has taken root in our minds, it is time to start using our heads.
For starters, most people who want to get to know someone usually succeed. Secondly, no one hates us; finally, if we are not currently in a relationship, why should we be in one in the future?
Make a selection in dating
If we go overboard with dating, we will end up not taking it to heart. Although it is true that, statistically, going out more increases chances, excess is the perfect recipe for being disappointed and losing confidence. Let’s be selective and take it easy.
In addition to making us more desirable, cultivating more interests gives us more opportunities to meet people who, moreover, have something in common with us, thus increasing the chance of meeting someone we can be compatible with.
Don’t always go out in groups
That’s right, no one would dare to approach us if we are always surrounded by friends. If we are looking for a partner, when we are out and about we try to create free space for those who would like to get to know us.
Don’t lie to yourself
Suitors who drop by when they are lonely or those who hang out with us only if they have nothing better to do are not acceptable prospects. Likewise, neither our boss, nor people we barely know, nor our best friend’s boyfriend are suitable. Let’s not waste time lying to ourselves with people we know very well are not suitable.
The most important advice.
If we want to know what the future of our story will be, let’s first analyze our compatibility. Even if we have crazy fun when we are together, what matters in the end is that we have common aspirations and plans. If we find diametrically opposed goals, even the most overwhelming physical contact cannot give our story the stability we seek.