None of us have the ability to read minds. And the lie detector isn’t infallible either. They say to recognize a man, you have to eat a bag of salt with him. But in reality, of course, you can get to know him before that. The main thing is to know exactly which key moments when communicating with him to pay special attention.
Let’s see how you can “test” a new man in your life to find out if it’s possible to build a relationship with this guy or if it’s better to “smoke you out”.
And if you think this requires extensive study of nonverbal sign language or opening your third eye through elaborate meditations, you’re wrong. Observation and common sense are enough. So here’s what to watch for and what questions to answer.
Way of speaking
Does the person speak quickly, loudly, gesticulate in a broad way? Maybe he is self-confident and more passionate about himself than you are. If he is laconic, speaks measuredly and calmly, you probably have a practical man across the table. Does he stammer, stumble, growl like a machine gun? These are signs of insecurity. But shame can pass with time.
Behaviour in public
He defiantly and without hesitation hugs and kisses you, not paying attention to the people around, trying to show everyone that you are his favorite? This could be a sign of jealousy and desire for possession. But if the man, on the contrary, is too timid – he does not even want to hold your hand in public, frankly avoiding open manifestation of feelings – maybe he just does not have feelings for you or he has not yet decided whether you are suitable for him.
How many friends does he have and who are they?
Is he friends with a lot of people or does he have a few time-tested childhood friends? Each person’s communication style is individual. Sociables by nature easily form new relationships and just as easily part – as a rule, they do the same in relationships with women.
Can he empathize with someone else’s pain?
If you can’t understand him in conversation, go to the movies with him, watch some sensitive drama. Do your and his emotional reactions to the film match, or do you react too differently to the characters’ suffering?
Dreams and goals
Our life goals are formed on the basis of ideas and values. If a person’s dreams are all about saving up for a car or working less, he’s probably not too ambitious. Take a closer look – do your goals and values match?
A car for most men is not just a means of transportation, it’s part of their soul. How does your partner behave on the road? Is he aggressive, swearing loudly at other road users, blaming them for everything, or the opposite – is he able to behave adequately and calmly? Does he flinch when you slam the door too loudly or grumble about you getting wet feet into his expensive car? This is a clear indication of his true colors.
How smart is he with money?
Is he stingy or does he give himself away easily? Who is he willing to help with money – friends, parents, any neighbor? Look at him closely. The question of money is also a question of life priorities and values.
Unfortunately, even with close communication, it is not always possible to understand a person’s true motives. To understand people well, you need more life experience.
For example, one of the most common problems in relationships is emotional blackmail, which we often confuse with showing love. For example, a partner won’t let you spend time with friends, reasoning with the fact that he loves you very much and doesn’t want to leave you even for a second. It puts pressure on regret, triggers feelings of guilt, and you refuse to see friends again. There is manipulation and blackmail here. And in this situation such a partner has more selfishness and love for himself, for his personal needs, than for you.
No people have never experienced emotional blackmail in their lives – from parents, relatives, partners, colleagues, friends… It would be nice to recognize it at an earlier stage of the relationship so that the consequences are less.