Life in marriage is sometimes a difficult art. When we fall in love, we don’t think about the so-called “mundane of everyday life.” Emotions take over; everything seems beautiful and wonderful. Often we do not see the flaws of our beloved person at this stage. And if we even see them, we treat them as something insignificant.
With time, however, everything changes. We often hear a phrase like: “Before marriage you were different”. Of course, people change with age, but do they change that much? Perhaps something else began to fail?
We asked friends and acquaintances with long marriages for their advice on how to maintain a satisfying relationship. Out of all the answers, we selected 20, in our opinion, the best.
don’t shy away from responsibility for your own actions.
Everyone has a role in the marriage and has some responsibilities. He or she needs to live up to them without dumping everything on the other person.
Many scientific studies confirm that physical contact strengthens interpersonal ties.
So touch each other. Hold hands while walking, kiss and hug. Have physical contact and develop your skills for it.
There are no two people in the world who agree on everything.
It is practically unfeasible. So accept the fact that you will not always agree with each other.
The worst thing in marriage is to try to change your partner by force.
Meanwhile, the problem may lie not in the other person, but in yourself. Among other things, love is about accepting your partner exactly as he is. There is no place here for manipulation and forcing you to do anything.
Pay attention to the symptoms of stagnation in the marriage – boredom in the bedroom, lack of conversation, resentment over various trifles.
These are symptoms of a seemingly incurable disease. Over time, this occurs in every relationship. Which is not to say that there is indeed no cure for marital rut. I won’t give a golden recipe here. You have to observe and catch the signals, and the ways to deal with it will depend on you.
Nothing is more important in a marriage than the relationship between husband and wife.
When other things become more important, such as career, children and personal dreams, difficulties arise. Give your relationship top priority. When you do, the marriage will flourish.
Appreciate each other and care for one another.
If you take each other’s presence for granted and are not worth the effort, you will be on the easy road to separation.
Give yourselves a break from blaming and criticism.
It is better to focus on what is valuable in your relationship and in yourselves. Instead of criticizing, start appreciating the other person’s achievements, know how to praise them, tell them compliments. Everyone wants to hear positive comments about themselves. Especially important are those made by a loved one. Couples who regularly give each other compliments are much happier than those who forget about praise.
Don’t stop dating – even after staying in a relationship for many years.
Dating is an art that keeps the flame of love and mutual excitement alive.
Create a clear vision of your future together.
Sit down, listen to each other and determine what kind of future you want for your entire family. A person who has something to strive for (and whose goal is reasonably clear) leads a fuller life.
good communication and time spent together are key to a strong marriage.
It is hard to imagine one without the other.
One of the most important factors in a good marriage is respect.
Respect each other, avoid insulting the other person. Bad words are like toothpaste. Once squeezed out of the tube, it can never be put back in.
You can live with each other in unity or in a ruler-subordinate type of relationship.
In the latter case, however, there is no question of true physical contact. You have to choose one or the other. Personally, I recommend maintaining harmonious unity.
Marriage often suffers from an overly busy lifestyle: careers, children, computers and many activities done separately by a man and a woman.
Meanwhile, a healthy relationship is one that combines individualism, family and time spent together into one smoothly functioning organism.
A great way to strengthen a marriage is to support and help each other.
Partners should understand that each of them has personal passions and pursuits. These should not be suppressed, but developed. Of course, this will not succeed without the support of the other person.
Always remember that life is long.
This is especially important during an argument. Every moment in life passes, the bad ones too. Before you start yelling at each other, realize that this moment will also pass. Don’t let one unfortunate incident ruin your whole life.
try to create numerous opportunities for fun, laughter and positive experiences.
This will strengthen your relationship with each other, and give you the opportunity to refer to many beautiful memories in difficult moments.
Don’t fight among yourselves over money.
Trouble can always arise in financial matters – even when you seem to be well secured. Money should never become a bone of contention between spouses. In “lean” years, partners must support each other, and in times of abundance, they must not let cash replace the bond that unites them.
Overcome difficulties together.
Life is not a fairy tale, and more than once you will face various troubles. Facing adversity together makes the relationship stronger.
Learn from each other.
Each person has different experiences and skills. There is no one in the world who cannot teach the other person something. Whatever it may be, allow each other to grow together. Let marriage be a source of new wisdom.