Have you ever been with a man and felt the need to talk non-stop just to fill a void you felt beyond the oppressive silence? When you’re with the right man, sharing silence is just as enjoyable as sharing ideas and feelings.

What’s more, as Rori Raye, one of the relationship experts I follow, says, there are times when all you have to do when you’re around a man is breathe and let the silence speak for you. Sometimes, it’s okay (and sexy) to let him feel you instead of hear you.

The fact that a man is silent doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t care what you think or what you think. Nor that he’s angry or upset. Maybe he needs a little time with his thoughts or maybe he doesn’t have anything important to say at that moment.

The great thing, says Rori Raye, is that you can take advantage of such a moment to strengthen the emotional connection between you. That means holding back when you realize his silence scares you and makes you start talking like a broken windmill to fix a situation that seems “wrong.”

To manage to refrain from exploding with words, the relationship expert recommends focusing on your own body. Take deep, deep breaths, all the way into your abdomen. Then shift your attention to your shoulders. If they’re tense and close to your ears, lower them to their natural position. Then shift your attention to an object in your purse, if you’re sitting in the car, for example, anything other than your mobile phone. Maybe your lipstick needs a refresh, and a woman wearing lipstick is sexy.

Then connect with it. You can touch his hand or stroke his hair or, if it’s your first date, just turn to him, look at him and smile. Sure enough, he’ll start talking to you, and you’ll know the right thing to say back.