We keep hearing about the power of words, but it seems even more significant when the words are spoken by the very people we care about. If what strangers or people less close to us say to us affects us more or less, what the people we love say to us can give us wings or destroy our self-esteem. We invite you to discover five addresses, words or phrases we say when we’re nervous but that can ruin our relationships.
“I don’t feel like talking about it” or “Let me go, are you starting again?”
Effective communication in a couple is the key to harmony and the solution to many problems. Because yes, even many problems in a relationship can be solved with the proper conversation.
But when one of the partners refuses to participate in the conversation, refuses to bring up the problem which, by this refusal, they practically leave in the shade, unresolved, when this partner ignores the initiative and the need of the other to solve an unpleasant situation, they only show a lack of responsibility, relational immaturity and especially ignorance towards the partner.
Such an attitude cannot bring two people closer together; on the contrary, it will drive them apart.
“I hate you” or other words expressing hatred or contempt
Every partner expects to be loved, accepted, encouraged and supported. When the other person says words or behaves in a way that expresses hatred or contempt, it is evident that the relationship will break down.
Moreover, some words are not easily forgotten or never forgotten.
“Then leave!” or “Then we break up, and that’s it!”
They may be words spoken in anger, but in the partner’s subconscious, these words are like a planted seed, which, under the right conditions, will grow and lead, event, to a breakup.
These words should never be uttered in a relationship, nor should the word “divorce” as a solution to the partners’ problems unless it is more valuable to both of them to part.
“You’re not right”, “You’re lying”, or worse, insulting.
It is perfectly natural for two people, who cannot be identical, to have different opinions on a particular subject at some point. This is precisely how adversarial discussions arise. Criticism, joking, trying to ga ga or downplaying the importance of what the other person says only alienates the partner, bringing feelings of helplessness and frustration.
It is constructive in such situations to argue our point of view and not to point fingers or restrict the other person’s opinion with words of criticism.
“Always” and “Never”
“You always do this/say that etc.” or “You never…”. Well, these are words spoken in anger, but it can’t be quite like that. Indeed there have been times that contradict both expressions. Constructive is seeing the entire side of the glass in a relationship.