There is one person in everyone’s life whose loss you may never get over. Certainly yours. Days, weeks, months and years can go by without a thought, but as soon as you see their face or hear their name… your stomach clenches and you’re flooded with memories.
It’s like you lose control for a moment. Feelings suddenly burst to the surface and you’re eagerly asking, “Well, did you miss us?”.
How is that possible? Why do you still get these feelings? It can almost seem like a betrayal from yourself against yourself. You thought you were past it. In fact, you’re determined to stick to that position.
Only perhaps your heart feels differently. Would you ask her about that?
She might say, “No, I’m not over it. If I could, I’d rush to him at the first word”. Then you might even think of the sentence that involuntarily escaped your lips when you were lying next to each other after a hot night.
“I’ll always be yours…”
No, darling, you’re not over it. He can still make you angry. She can still make you sad. He can still make you feel sorry for yourself. And yes, you can still remember your favorite song, the smell of her skin, the gleam in her eyes as she once looked at you.
Even though it may have been months or even years.
It’s like a piece of your heart is stuck in the past. Next to her. Because love can’t just evaporate the day they leave you. You know this, and yet you keep asking yourself: why, why, why?
Why aren’t you over it?
Maybe you haven’t closed it properly. Maybe you still have words left unsaid. And not only to yourself… Because maybe you don’t even admit certain things to yourself. Like that he wasn’t the one.
At first you think of the good memories and the familiar love, but then… when you think about it… you realize there were plenty of red flags. She didn’t really deserve you. And you knew that, you just didn’t want to realize it.
But you know what?
In a way, it feels good to know that you can love someone so deeply, even with their flaws.