Maybe things used to be easier. Marriages were mostly out of interest, an agreement between two families, and if the husband and wife could have a pleasant, friendly relationship (but each had their own private life in secret), that was enough in the eyes of society.
Today the situation is completely different. We live in love relationships, we women can mostly manage on our own, and if we let someone into our lives, it is usually to make them feel good about themselves.
But what if we don’t choose well? What if we have “lost” months, even years, in someone? Feelings, caring, shared daily life, memories, good and bad moments? What happens if, despite all this, we are unhappy?
When do we let it go, when do we move on and face up to what is one of the most difficult tasks in life for the modern woman: breaking up. To feel lonely, broken, anxious for a long time, and then slowly recover and give a new one a chance.
It’s understandable that many of us dread it. How many times can a heart be broken? How many times do we swing back in, hope, weave dreams, only to be disappointed again, waiting, patiently trying to fix the unfixable, to fix the unfixable?
For those of us who find ourselves in such a situation, look on the bright side: at least we can now make the choice to leave a destructive relationship. We have a choice. We don’t have to tolerate, humiliate, beg.
And when does the moment come when, despite all our efforts and insistence, we do have to move on?
The answer is very simple. When, after repeated attempts, we feel permanently unwell on a daily basis. When the man next to us instinctively – God forbid – pushes us down, humiliates us, shuts us out, takes us for granted, or even ignores us completely. When we feel that we have his life and that we can fit into it, that we can serve his needs, but that we ourselves are somehow left out of the game. Who we are, our desires, our fears, our plans, our personality is somehow nowhere to be found. We do not feel loved, valued. Yes, we can say that we are in a relationship, that our partner loves us “in their own way”, it’s just that the years go by and we – shit.
Life is too short to be shit all the time, isn’t it?
So if the above is true for you, it’s definitely worth turning into an emotional scrub for a while and going through what a breakup entails. Don’t beg, don’t pus**foot around, leave it at that and focus all your energies on starting a new life. It’s very hard, yes. But it’s worth pushing through the hard times and not wasting any more of your time. It is the only way to go. It’s the only way to a better life, a better partner. If you’ve really tried everything and your relationship isn’t working, give yourself a chance at a better one. It will come. Trust me.
