Don’t let the “Impostor Syndrome” ruin your relationship.

People tend to compare themselves with others; it’s a fact. Not a day goes by that you go out on the street and think: “wow, I would love to dare to wear that hairstyle…”,” oh my God, what I would do to have such slender legs…”.

This reality has become disproportionate with the advent of social networks, and despite being a great showcase for brands and for the world in general, they are also a double-edged sword. Every day we see dozens of people posting content “promoting” their happy lives, their sculpted bodies, their wonderful professional achievements. In every moment of our current lives we are surrounded by people letting the world know that they have succeeded and we are being spectators of such news from the sofa of our homes.

It’s sad, but that’s how it is: we like to sabotage ourselves.

Self-sabotage is a behavior that clearly erodes a person from the deepest depths of their innermost being, and it is a tremendously common occurrence in relationships.

Let me ask you a question… Have you ever wondered what such a wonderful person is doing by your side? What on earth had to happen that, out of all the people he or she could be with, he or she chose you? Dear readers, you are missing each other, and this has to change immediately.

Those who suffer from “Impostor Syndrome” are men and women who fear that someday their partners will find out what they are really like. They are truly unaware of why the love of their lives has not yet been able to identify the long list of flaws that characterize them; why they are unable to realize that they are a real fraud. Such is the concern and pressure that in many cases the person decides to leave the relationship before “the truth comes out”.

What are we afraid of? That they will discover a new fatness? That in reality our personality is similar to that of a witch who lives under the sea? The person who has decided to love you knows perfectly well how you are, and knows perfectly well what your greatest insecurities are, and yet continues to be with you. Amazing, isn’t it? That’s because he loves you, period.

It is logical that you are afraid that someday the person you love will leave you, but love is like that, one day it is in full effervescence and the next you wake up and the only thing you find is a note thanking you for all this time. But what is clear is that there is no conspiracy behind the discovery of your true self, these are conceptions that we have implanted in our own heads, and the time has come to get rid of them.

What I am going to say will sound very cliche and perhaps already too much chewed, but we all have imperfections, and it is something that will continue to be so. Perfection is frankly boring, there is no way to catch it. It is these imperfections that make us unique and memorable at the same time, what happens is that we do not dare to be vulnerable and we are afraid that others will identify them and somehow use them to hurt us. I get it, this feeling doesn’t disappear overnight, but little by little you must begin to trust your worth and you must accept what you consider negative about yourself to build a stunning fortress of security and self-confidence.

Leave a Reply