Sometimes, after a while, you notice that something is gradually changing in your partnership. The rose-colored glasses are taken off and you suddenly see the world with a clear eye. The diagnosis then hurts all the more: You are unhappy in the relationship. But how does this manifest itself and what can you do now?
Unhappy in your relationship? These are typical signs
Of course, it can also be the simple realization that the relationship does not fulfill you or you specifically wish for another partner or would even rather be single. Sometimes, however, the signs are much more subtle. This can look quite varied:
You’re changing your social behavior: You used to be more social and now only want to be alone? Or you flee from moments when you could spend time with your partner as a couple? Then this is also a sign that you want to escape from your relationship.
You wonder who you are: the relationship has distanced you from yourself? You no longer know what your goals are and what you want to achieve just for you? Many people who live in particularly close partnerships experience this. If you have the feeling that you are only the “girlfriend of …”, this can make you very unhappy.
You plan without him: Have you recently made plans for the near or distant future in which your loved one plays no role? This is a sign that your subconscious secretly wants a life without him.
You feel unattractive: when self-confidence wanes, we quickly wonder if we’re even desirable anymore. If this happens to you in a relationship, it may be because you don’t feel valued. Maybe he hasn’t told you for a long time that he finds you beautiful.
You make yourself pretty for others: When you go to a party with your girlfriends, you dress up. But when you go on a date with your partner, you don’t care how you look. If you don’t care what he thinks of you but you dress up for others, something is obviously off between you.
Reunion causes you stress instead of anticipation: You know your boyfriend is coming over soon. But instead of looking forward to it, just the thought of his presence is causing you stress. You would much rather be alone and withdraw.
Unhappy in your relationship? Here’s how you can make it work
Are you unhappy in your relationship, but don’t want to break up? This means that you care about your partnership and are willing to actively do something about it. If this is why you want to fight for your relationship, you can try the following ways:
Talk to each other regularly
Even if it is hard for you to talk about it with your partner in this situation, it is only fair to let him know in a calm conversation that you are not happy in your relationship right now. The sooner you seek this conversation, the easier it will be for him to engage with it and address your needs. However, this conversation should not be an exception: Take time to talk regularly. That way, you know what’s on each other’s minds and can better support each other.
Create your wish list
What have you neglected lately that used to bring you joy? Think clearly about what is important to you in your life and what goals you want to continue to achieve: family planning, career options, and even hobbies should not be put on the back burner. Talk to your friend about your plans.
Plan active dates
All you’ve been doing lately is lying on the couch and bumming around? Then get back into an activity that will bond you and create memories together. You don’t have to plan an adventure vacation right away: You can also just go out for a romantic dinner, to the theater, or try a new hobby together.
Try couples therapy
Maybe if you’re in a sticky situation, it might help to try couples therapy. With a professional on your side, it can be easier to figure out what’s wrong with your relationship. He or she can also give you tips for your specific situation.
Take a break from your relationship
You don’t have to break up right away, but sometimes a little distance can do you good. A relationship break gives you both a chance to think about what you have in each other and why your relationship is valuable. Unhappy in your marriage? We’ll tell you what your options are right now!