Jealousy has a pretty bad reputation in love. However, there are actually positive effects that you can draw from your jealousy.
Jealousy has many faces. When we are in a committed relationship, we can develop fears that our partner doesn’t love us enough, perhaps has a crush on someone else, or that we are not enough. But is jealousy really always bad?
Here’s why jealousy is not good for a relationship
Jealousy feelings are primarily toxic to our interpersonal relationships. It ensures that we get lost in painful thought spirals and, in the worst cases, are led by emotions that sabotage trust in our partner and call into question the love we share.
Sooner or later, you always have to ask yourself: where does my jealousy come from? Is it my bad experiences that I have had that reinforce my jealousy? Often the origin of our jealousy can be found mainly in a low self-esteem and insecurity prevailing in us. So, in order to get your jealousy under control permanently, you should face your fears and communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Those who suffer from great jealousy should avoid an open relationship.
When jealousy can be positive for the relationship
However, jealousy doesn’t always have to bring a toxic dynamic that can jeopardize your relationship in the long run. “Mild jealousy can be healthy,” Dr. Therapist Leela Magavi tells about this. “It underscores the fact that you care about your partner, value them and don’t want to lose them,” the therapist says. From these examples, you can see the positive effects jealousy can have on your relationship:
Communication in your partnership is stimulated
If you stand by your hurt feelings and can name your jealousy and talk about it openly, you help improve communication in your partnership. If you show your feelings and share them, your partner can better empathize with you and understand what is causing you grief.
You take more responsibility for your behavior
If you want to have a healthy relationship, you have to take responsibility for your feelings and actions. If you get into an argument because of jealous thoughts, you should first look at where they are coming from. This way you will automatically deal with yourself and be able to react better in other situations and avoid arguments in the future.
You can break old behavior patterns
If you can admit to yourself that you struggle with jealousy here and there and share these feelings with your partner, you are taking a big step towards your own self-development. If you recognize your old behavior patterns, you will be able to get a better grip on them later on.