Many women find it difficult to forget their ex, and they may think about him for several years after the breakup, even when they are in a relationship. Why can’t they forget their ex? Your girlfriend is in the same situation and your relationship is starting to fall apart. You need to understand why she still thinks about him.
Why she’s still thinking about her ex.
From the beginning of your relationship, you’ve felt that your girlfriend’s mind is elsewhere. She often talks to you about her ex and often compares you to him. It is difficult for her to detach herself from her past. There may be several reasons why she can’t let it go:
She was dumped: she still loves him as much as ever.
Find out about her former relationship from her friends or someone who knows her. It’s quite possible that it was her ex who left her. Therefore, it is normal for her to still have feelings for him. It is especially difficult for her to forget him if she considered him to be her great love. Even if she loves you, she may not be able to choose between you and him.
The breakup was sudden
Even before her break-up, she was living a beautiful story, there was no anticipation of separation. The day before or the day before the break-up, they were still saying “I love you” to each other. This created an emotional shock for her. It is very likely that she is still disoriented and does not understand herself what happened between them. You are the escape route she found on her way.
Reluctance to let go
Because of this emotional shock, it is difficult for her to trust you. She is especially afraid that you will leave her again. She knows that her ex is now unable to hurt her any more. That’s why she feels more and more confident in him.
She has regrets and resentment.
She lived through a painful relationship and their breakup went badly. She (like him) may still have a lot to say to each other. The breakup was quick and it was impossible for her to tell him what is on her mind. This may also be a reason why she can’t completely forget him.
Her ex is always harassing her and she doesn’t know how to say “no”.
It may happen that her ex-lover cannot get rid of her and continues to harass her. He calls her all the time and/or comes to visit her too often. He tries to seduce her without going all the way, just to hinder her in your relationship. For her part, she makes the slightest effort to say “no” to him. Deep down, she wants him to stay in her life, even if it’s just to be friends with him.
What can you do about this?
Be careful, just because she’s thinking about her ex doesn’t mean your relationship can’t work out. In any case, if you really want to, you can do something to save her. But first of all, you have to understand that it is difficult to grieve for a love. If you’ve ever experienced a breakup, you need to know how she feels.
Here are some tips on how to get her to come to you and forget about her ex:
Be understanding and give her time
Understand her and have respect for her old love story. The only person who can make her forget her ex is herself. This is a personal job that can take several months. It takes a lot of patience.
Avoid making a hasty decision and choosing to break up. She is certainly in love, but it takes time to deal with the breakup. You can still help her a little to make it easier.
Don’t overwhelm her
Beware, helping him is contrary to infantilizing him. The more you invade it, the more it moves away from you. You must be present for her while giving her independence and freedom. Let her know that you are there for her and let her come to you on her own.
Give her new experiences
The best way to make him forget his past is to make him appreciate the present moment. To do this, it is enough to make him live new experiences and good unforgettable moments. You have to laugh with her to create an emotional bond between you. Humor is important if you want your relationship to last.
In seduction (because it is a question of conquering it to make it forget), it is necessary to remain oneself. Your personality and your originality can be assets to touch her heart. Show her that she can live differently than with her ex. Make her understand that she can be happy with you.
Do not talk about her ex
Avoid talking about your ex at all costs and don’t compare yourself to him or her. Impose yourself by preventing him from telling you about him. If she talks about him all the time, it’s harder to get her to forget her ex. For her part, she must also understand that it is impossible to find happiness if she clings to her past.
As mature adults, each of you must be able to solve a problem by talking to each other. She is her own solution and it is up to her to make the choice: you or him? If she prefers to choose to cling to her ex, tell yourself that someone else is waiting for you. Now you can be careful in the future and avoid getting involved with another girl who is obsessed with her ex.