You’re meeting someone who – finally! – makes you want to start a serious relationship. It is important that you pay attention to the first signs to know if you will be compatible or, at least, if it is worth trying.
It is true that there are no linear paths when it comes to relationships. Many times what begins as something casual ends up being love for a lifetime. In the beginning, there are usually some indicators of how this new couple could work, even though people tend to show their best cards, trying to impress. Discovering what someone is really like takes a long time, but some specific behaviors can gradually show you what this man or woman is like. To form a solid couple you need to share the concept of the relationship you are looking for and listen to your heart and reason. We women tend to think that we can change a man and, honestly, it doesn’t work that way. No one changes anyone.
In the beginning of a bond, it is good to ask. Prudently and respectfully, but ask. If the other person gets upset, that’s up to him. I’m not talking about making an interrogation or personalizing (after all, you are just getting to know each other) but to know some basic questions that will help you know if you are on the right track:
- Know if the other person is available, what they expect from a bond, if they have children (or want to have them), and so on.
- Ask if they are open to an exclusive relationship or are looking for an open partner.
- Listen carefully to everything that talks about her moral values, concepts about family, etc.
- Know what her expectations are if things go well.
There are some basic indicators to let you know if you are on the right track:
- Who wants, moves: if the person is really interested in building a relationship with you will do things tending to do so as calling you, send you messages and go to see you for example. Excuses are useless: there is no lack of time; only lack of interest. If you are really interested in someone, even if physical time is scarce, you will do things to see him or her, even if it is through the webcam.
- Interest is shown “without hysteria”: be wary of attachments that start with a high component of craziness. Attacks of jealousy, questions about “why did you post such and such a thing on Facebook”, police inquiries, and so on. What starts badly, usually ends badly.
- The enthusiasm is manifest. They do not look backwards, stirring up stories of ex-partners, but they bet on the present, on today. The energy is focused on the here and now.
- The relationship flows. There is a lot of truth in the phrase “in beginnings, endings are agreed upon”. So pay attention to how naturally – or not – the bond is established. Always remember that, in love as in physics, the greater the pressure, the greater the resistance.