1) A distance taking
Do you see each other less and less often? Or when you see yourself you feel slight tension and you don’t dare to take her (him) in your arms because she (him) rejects you? A discussion is needed! Make yourself a good tea to relax the atmosphere and freely discuss everything you feel, the unsaid, the tensions, the fears that cross your mind, but also the desires you have in the future! The goal is not to swing the four truths like a savage but to measure your words by saying what needs to be said to start off on the right foot!
2) The “you” that kills
Does your darling point out your defects more frequently, get annoyed more quickly with each “faux pas”? According to Jacques Salomé (French social psychologist), by saying phrases such as “You should do this… You should have thought about that… You should have known that… You don’t love me as much as I love you”, you point to the other and kill the relationship! Transform your sentences by placing the “I” rather than the “you”, say “by acting this way, I feel that… I feel that… I feel…”. If it’s your better half who has this bad habit, send him this article (with a little heart of course :D) or try to explain to him in your own words how his words affect your relationship !
3) Attempts at jealousy
If you see that your loved one is trying to use a few little techniques to stir up your jealousy, she (he) may be trying to test you and see how you react. It’s a childish way to desperately try to get your attention or to make you understand through the lines that you need to be closer to her (him). If this is your case, don’t fuel the game and simply tell her with a smile “are you trying to make me jealous? ». When she (he) is unmasked, she (he) will stutter a few sentences saying “I don’t know what you’re talking about…” and try to do everything possible to convince you that she (he) is not acting that way! Remind him/her that you love him/her and that you want to continue together and communicate together about the hidden unspoken things and establish solutions together to better understand each other and avoid this kind of unpleasantness .
4) Your sms are colder than usual
You send her a picture of you in the evening with your friends with a little heart and she replies dryly “Good evening”? Chances are that your partner is upset… Isolate yourself for a moment and call her to reassure her, tell her that you love her, that you are thinking about her (him) and that you want to find her (him)! If you feel that this discomfort persists over the phone, calmly ask her (him) to tell you how she (he) feels. Why is she (he) acting this way? Is it legitimate? Is it your fault or his or her fault due to very low self-confidence? In any case, reassure her (him), try to understand each other’s points of view and try to find a solution for both of you that will please you as much as it does her (him)! But don’t act against your values and who you are. If you feel that this goes a little too far, tell her (him) that you love her (him) just as she (him) is and that you would love her (him) to do the same for a healthy and conflict-free love!
5) She (he) suddenly finds it hard to fit you into her schedule.
When you try to schedule a next appointment with her (him), without enthusiasm, she (him) remains vague and throws a shy “We’ll see much later” or “Next week”? Tell her (him) that you really want to see her (him) and try to understand the unspoken things that are hidden behind this shell… The next time you see each other, communicate, find solutions and put things into perspective by laughing together!
6) She (he) talks more about her exes or the men she meets…
Her ex-boyfriends, whom she (he) used to say only bad things about, suddenly become “nice” and when she (he) comes home from the party she (he) tells you about a man (a woman) she (he) met in the evening and who was “sensational”! » ? Ask yourself questions about his (her) provocative sentences and find answers together! Is it just to tease? Or is it to make the other one jealous so that you can react? Or is it something completely different, like a desire to go somewhere else or to seduce because she (he) is a bit bored in this routine? Whatever the reasons, make sure you understand them so that you can remedy the situation as quickly as possible. Then tell her or him to tell you about it frankly the next time and get straight to the point! This will save you a lot of unnecessary questioning and will take away any possible anxiety in the future!