What to do and what to do if your partner has no friends? Here are the questions to ask yourself to help him (and you) resolve the situation
Not everyone likes to surround themselves with friends, just as it is not easy for everyone to have friendships and make them last. Whether by choice, character or otherwise, therefore, it can happen that at the time you are dating your partner has no friends to hang out with or to share what happens to him, actions or emotions.
On the one hand, there is nothing wrong with this situation: after all, everyone chooses with whom to share their time and space. On the other hand, this might raise questions, at least to understand the reasons why your loved one does not make friends with other people.
THE PARTNER HAS NO FRIENDS: POSSIBLE REASONS
Starting from the assumption that there is no such thing as the correct number of friends, it is good to remember that everyone is made in their own way and whether or not they have friends may depend on the character of the person themselves and their personal experiences.
Having clarified this point, therefore, at the basis of one’s partner’s non-friendships there may be different reasons, such as being introverted, lack of trust in others, the desire to protect oneself following negative experiences or where one has been hurt, or even not finding like-minded people with whom one feels one has common points and values. All aspects that can lead to the partner who has no friends not wanting any and not even looking for any, seeing you as the only source of love, attention, listening and understanding.
All well and good, of course, but why does the partner really have no friends? And what questions should be asked if this happens?
WHEN IT IS RIGHT TO ASK WHY THE PARTNER HAS NO FRIENDS
One question you should ask yourself when your partner has no friends is what could have prompted him or her to avoid having people around other than you and family members, at least to try to understand whether he or she has past sufferings from which he or she has been unable to detach himself or whether, on the contrary, his or her friendlessness is due to other factors.
If the reason is introversion, for example, the absence of friends is not a problem but it is possible that, in due course (his) will be made. With the right conditions and the necessary tranquillity to expose himself to other people.
If the reason, on the other hand, depends on the partner’s being antisocial and lack of interest in establishing social relationships, it may also be that he views your sociability and friendship with some discomfort, even going so far as to try to limit your outings and/or behaviour. One point should be made clear right away: your ties are important and you should not give them up for anyone.
WHAT IF DISAPPOINTMENT IS THE REASON?
It then happens that one of the reasons why your partner does not have any friends is because of disappointment experienced in the past towards the same type of ties. In this case, it is good to ask how this feeling is experienced by the partner, what has upset him/her and how he/she experiences the lack of friendships and of someone with whom to share life’s experiences but who is not you.
To really try to understand your partner’s state of mind, his or her feelings and whether he or she is living with a weight inside that, in the long run or already in the immediate future, is altering his or her behaviour and what he or she feels, what he or she would like and what he or she does instead. And all because of the disappointment experienced and never resolved but which, precisely you, could help him to let go of.
IF HE DOES NOT TRUST OTHERS, WHY SHOULD HE TRUST ME?
Another question that it is good to ask yourself if your partner has no friends, then, should this be the trigger, is whether this condition depends on a lack of trust in others and, therefore, what differentiates them from you. Or rather, why should it be any different if he does not trust anyone with you?
Lack of trust, in fact, does not have an on/off switch, and it is very likely that, despite telling you otherwise, your partner does not trust you either. A problem both for the couple, since one of the foundations of the relationship itself is missing, and for you. Since this lack of trust will be the same one that will try to limit your relationships beyond the couple and, therefore, your freedom of action in life.
Few but well-calibrated questions, to understand the nature of the lack of friendship in the life of the person next to you and to understand if this is a condition experienced well by your partner, if there is something it is good to help him/her with or if it is you who needs to be helped. Avoid situations that can put you in a corner and ensure that you both live a happy relationship and life.