Justifying yourself is by definition an act of defence. According to the dictionary, it is to give evidence of one’s innocence, to try to refute an accusation against one. So we feel guilty every time we have to justify ourselves, often unconsciously.
In reality, you are the only person to whom you are accountable. We constantly meet people who take it upon themselves to judge, to question, to challenge our way of being and doing. Yet some things do not need the approval of others.
The most important thing is to live your life according to your own choices, values and aspirations, regardless of what others think. This article will help you to emancipate yourself as best you can from their gaze and their judgments, to finally stop feeling guilty when you are only looking out for your own good.
Here are 4 things you need to stop justifying to yourself.
THE WAY YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY
Money is undoubtedly one of the greatest sources of conflict there is. People, whether friends, colleagues, or even – since the rise of social networking – complete strangers, tend to spy on, comment on, criticise and judge each other’s purchases and financial situations. But none of them have the right to do so.
As long as the money is yours, earned through hard work, then you have the right to spend it EXACTLY as you wish, regardless of what others say. As long as the money is yours, you are free to do whatever you want with it. Whether you want to buy clothes, shoes or make-up, go on trips, invest in an asset, buy a car or redecorate your home, all these decisions are yours. And it is certainly not your duty to justify them.
THE WAY YOU DRESS
Again, the way you dress is your choice. Style is personal. You should not have to justify it. I’ve often had to justify to myself how often I wear black, which is the only colour I feel truly comfortable and confident in. It doesn’t matter how you dress, the main thing is that you feel good in your clothes. And above all, that they look like you.
YOUR ASPIRATIONS AND GOALS
We all have ambitions and aspirations, different from each other, because we are all unique. No dream is laughable. Don’t compromise your dreams and plans for others, or you will have regrets later. What we want most of all is to be satisfied with ourselves. You don’t have to justify devoting your life to this or that, as long as it is what makes your heart beat. Nothing is sadder than giving up your dreams to conform to what others expected of you. Whatever makes you tick, follow your own path. No one can claim the right to dictate people’s lives.
YOUR WAY OF LIFE
People will always tend to comment, spy, judge and question the way others live. “Why isn’t she married?”, “Why is she divorced, single?”, “Why doesn’t she have any children yet?”, “Why did she become a vegetarian?”… All these situations are part of your personal life, your values and your beliefs. These life choices belong to you and should not put you in an uncomfortable position with others. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, except to be at peace with yourself.