Hopping from one date to the next in a pair of high heels was not easy even for the legendary beauties of physical contact and the City, let alone for us mere mortals. What does it really look like to find your soulmate when you’re not 30 anymore?
It’s viewed with suspicion
Many people tend to be judgmental, to form a preconceived, usually negative opinion without even knowing the person. If you are over thirty, you can’t avoid the somewhat judgmental question “why are you still single?”.
Frankly, it would sound like “What’s wrong with you?”. It doesn’t matter if the real reasons for your loneliness are a spectacular career, a broken marriage or just a few schmucks who have accidentally got in the way of life. Be prepared to face this question if the guy wants to find out without a hint during the date. Simply redirect the question back.
It’s hard to change habits
After living without a partner for a few years or more, you’re probably used to doing things on your own and have your own routines. It can be hard to let someone else into your heart and into your home. But what if your new acquaintance messes up the bathroom, crumbles snacks on the carpet or wants to take control of the TV remote control?
Everyone has their own baggage
If you go on dates when you are over 30, chances are you will meet someone who has had a painful experience – a divorce, burying a loved one, coping with illness. This can be both positive and negative. On the one hand, the person has learnt, become stronger, got to know himself and others in extreme situations, evaluated relationships and life itself, and will therefore behave more responsibly. On the other hand, he may find it difficult to get too close to a new person
Increased likelihood of successful physical contact relationships
Mature women know their own physiology, men’s bodies are no longer uncharted hunting grounds, so they are more self-confident and have a more successful physical contact life.
Children complicate the situation
Many parents find it difficult to keep themselves from remembering, during a romantic dinner, what cool things their offspring have done today. At the start of a new relationship, talk of other people’s children can dampen the appetite. If you both have children, it may be interesting for both of you to hear stories about each other’s little ones, but it can be difficult to plan time together (school timetable, clubs, time at the other parent’s house, etc.).
Fewer places to meet
The most difficult situation is for women whose girlfriends are not all single already. You don’t feel like going out to clubs and bars (unless you’re looking for a one-day adventure), and your friends’ attempts to break up with the last single person in their company often turn into a tragicomedy… So that leaves work, the gym, the supermarket, school or kindergarten (if you have offspring), and a few other places depending on your leisure time.
It’s harder to turn your head
Life experience is the biggest advantage if you have to go on dates at an older age. You can smell cross-dressers from afar, you can sense when they’re hanging noodles or hiding something, you can read body language and you know how the evening will end. What’s more, you keep your nerves cool and don’t end up in a dream castle after the first encounter, with your children running around and a caring husband cutting a rose bush nearby. If you don’t get a call the next day, you don’t despair, either – you already know – things happen.