Narcissism can destroy even the strongest love and ruin long-established relationships. But when we start talking to someone, we may not immediately realise that they are a narcissist. What to look out for, what are the tell-tale signs?
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that true narcissists are overly concerned with their appearance, are very flamboyant and flaunt their fit bodies. This is only partly because some narcissistic traits are betrayed by behaviour.
They never admit that they have made a mistake
Admitting one’s mistakes is difficult. Many people think that by doing so, they humble themselves, diminish their ego and become inferior. But the opposite is true: admitting mistakes is a great human strength and an ability to respect others, to show that you are a thoughtful, fallible but aware person.
So if your other half can’t accept that you are right, if he or she ignores his or her own mistakes, even though they are starving, it is worth wondering if this person is mature enough for a relationship. Also note whether, in the course of an argument, he or she tries to put all the blame on you, whatever the circumstances or the nuances of the argument. If he thinks that you should not have acted in one way or another, that you are the only one to blame, this should probably be a warning sign. Remember, a narcissist will always try to blame someone else and come out of the puddle dry.
Feels resentful and ignores you after an argument
Of course, in a fierce argument, everyone has an opinion and wants to hold on to it because they are convinced of their own rightness. However, even if after an unresolved argument your other half behaves like a teenager and ignores you, doesn’t speak, or behaves demonstratively because he or she feels offended, consider whether you are on the way. Will you have the patience for such games? After all, true love is when you are able to overcome your ego and find a common compromise for a beautiful and meaningful relationship.
Me, me and me again
Your boyfriend is the soul of the company, he speaks without shutting up, interrupts others and doesn’t let you intervene, but you don’t even have time to open your mouth? That would seem to be a very good quality – a sociable person who doesn’t look for a word in his pocket, who fits in and is liked everywhere. It is important for such a person to be the centre of attention and admiration. And in his starry moments, it is better not to be reproached, because it is possible to get badly burnt – to be scolded, to be called unintelligent. But, as the saying goes, too much is unhealthy.
Try to look more closely, is it not the case that such behaviour encodes true narcissism? If you notice that he or she is boasting about his or her achievements, abilities and other things, wonder if you are dealing with a narcissist.
He’s not interested in you
Every woman wants to be genuinely interested in her, to find out what she likes, what she can’t stand, what makes her happy, what makes her sad and so on. If a guy is always talking about himself, only caring about his activities, his occupations, his appearance, his work, but can’t tell you what your favourite colour is or what coffee you drink in the morning, you should seriously wonder if he has the characteristics of a narcissist. And the most important thing is not that he has to know what you like, but that he is genuinely interested in someone other than himself, which is hard to fake.
If, when you start talking about your affairs, your day at work or your wishes, he starts acting tired or turns the subject back to his own affairs, this is a clear sign of narcissism. He is not interested in how you feel, what you are going through, what you are experiencing, what matters to him are his feelings and experiences. If he only cares about his opinion when discussing small things, think what will happen when it comes to serious things. This behaviour is a form of narcissism.
He is subject to double standards
Has it ever happened that your chosen one has made a big scene because someone, according to him, has made a pass at you, and then, some time later, he himself has not shied away from a closer relationship, from flirting with other members of the fairer physical contact? Narcissism can also manifest itself in the fact that he desperately needs more girls, and even better if they admire him and pursue him in a way that only feeds his self-love. So if you notice a double standard being applied to you, it’s time to wonder if you’re dealing with a narcissist who collects women.