Conflict occurs in any relationship, no matter its nature, and word on the street is that where there’s no fight, there are no feelings. But how far is conflict constructive, and how far does it become destructive? Many couple relationships can get lost in conflict and the negative feelings it generates, even though the partners love each other. How can we better manage communication in relationships?
It is natural to have conflicting discussions; we are different people and therefore think differently. But discussions with others help us to grow, to learn other ideas and should be constructed so that we can find the best solutions to the problems that are bothering us or get the honest opinion of the other person in a situation that is confusing for us.
Unfortunately, these discussions that should be constructive often degenerate into arguments, reproaches, and sometimes even bad words or more.
How can we better manage the adversarial discussions in a couple?
Communication is an essential part of a relationship. Still, it’s certainly not an easy part if you haven’t had a role model or developed this side of life.
Past relationship patterns
We unwittingly bring relationship patterns we have already learned in our past, either in the family, we grew up in or in former relationships. So we may apply them to our current couple without being aware.
Therefore, carefully studying our behaviour and reactions to our partner and the emotions we feel during those tense moments can be very helpful in correcting ourselves.
Personal frustrations
Suppose we can identify our frustrations and those elements that feed our ego. In that case, we can bring clarity to our communication with our loved ones, pinpointing precisely what is hurting us and how we would like it to happen. Of course, an adjusted solution is reached so that it does not become a burden for our partner.
Culture and values of the couple
Differences in culture and values in life can lead to massive conflicts between partners, going as far as relationship breakdown and break-up. It is true that if you are not moving in the same direction, it can be helpful to reassess your future together. Sometimes, even if it is painful, when harmony cannot be reached, a break-up can bring more good to the life of both partners.
Cultivate empathy in your relationship
Cultivating empathy in your relationship is one of the most valuable ways to achieve understanding and harmony.
Trying to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, allowing them to express themselves freely, and seeking to help or support them where it is the cause and not the effect, is a prerequisite for increasing the closeness of the partners, trust and romance.