It’s been months, even years, since the breakup, but you’re still looking at photos of the two of you and your stomach still clenches when you hear your song together. It’s often said that cabbage is only good reheated, but what if it’s not even cold? Starting over with your ex is a dangerous business, but if both of you are sufficiently self-critical, it can work. If you’re considering it, be sure to ask him the following 7 questions.
Can you really imagine getting back together?
Is this just a spur-of-the-moment flare-up, or can you really see yourselves holding hands again, for better or worse? A moment of indecision is not worth opening wounds over.
What led to the break-up at the first attempt?
It is probably not an accident that your relationship ended earlier, and if you want to avoid a similar tragedy, it is better to prevent it. Reconsider what led to this drastic decision, what caused conflict or misunderstanding between the two of you.
What did you learn during your time apart?
Whether it’s only been a few weeks or several years since the break-up, you’re guaranteed to have thought about a lot of things. Your personalities have changed, and so has the way you think about relationships and each other – but is this a good or bad thing for your story together?
What would you do differently if you were starting over?
One thing to remember: it’s always a two-way street. If you are thinking of starting again, you both need to look within yourselves and exercise self-criticism. Believe me, there is always room for improvement.
What do you think I should change if we got back together?
In addition to self-criticism, it is of course important to give constructive criticism to each other. Re-examine what has hurt the other person and what are the drastic sticking points that need to be eliminated so that you can start the relationship with a clean slate.
Is there anything that we have never managed to talk about?
Unfortunately, it can happen that after a break-up there are a lot of loose ends, questions, misunderstandings. As much as it hurts, jump in now. Nothing, really nothing, should remain taboo!
What is your ideal relationship?
If not necessarily with each other, but in general, it’s good if you can both answer this. What are the core values that you desire and what are the things that you are unable to tolerate?
