We can agree that it’s very hard to see clearly in love. When you’re blinded by emotion, and you WANT him to love you so much, it’s easy to see him and your relationship for what it is. One thing is for sure: a relationship is only real when it’s based on equality, reciprocity and respect, otherwise it can become an exploitative and even abusive (especially psychologically) bond. Here are eight behavioural patterns that, if you discover in your partner, you’d better run away, because he or she may not respect you. And that won’t end well.
“Spills” your feelings
If anything you feel is hysterical and overreacting and stupid to him, it’s a clear sign that he has no respect for you. If he’s snidely brushing aside your very real and legitimate feelings – because everyone is entitled to their feelings – he’s actually questioning your right to exist, your perspective in the relationship.
Takes it for granted
Yes, it is indeed natural for both of you to be there for each other in times of trouble and need, but reciprocity is the key word here. If your boyfriend takes it for granted that you’re always accommodating, you’re always teasing, you’re always giving, loving, caring, attentive, supportive, but in return he doesn’t even think about it (or at least only when he’s not doing anything else or feels like it), then you can’t expect much good from the relationship. At most, you’ll be let down when you need a real partner the most.
Your opinion doesn’t matter
If your partner often “puts you down” (especially in company), ignores or even ridicules your opinions or positions on any issue, it’s a very bad sign. If you respect the other person, you listen to them, even if you disagree. If you feel that you are not allowed to have an opinion on anything, that it is always him who speaks, that his will and point of view prevail, and that what he says is “sacred”, then run away. He will never respect you.
Playing on your guilt
This is a form of manipulation, among the most mentally destructive. If the guy feels he doesn’t get his way, he punishes with insults, silence, or even a good spanking. The point is to make you feel bad and guilty for not giving in to him unconditionally.
It takes away your confidence
Whether it’s by constantly criticizing you, humiliating you in front of your friends or family, he’s always looking for and blaming you. The thing is, next to him, you don’t feel like yourself, you are inspired and encouraged, but on the contrary, you start questioning your own worth, you are on the verge of destruction. Needless to say: a guy who respects his partner doesn’t do that.
Mostly to other women, and of course you don’t come out on top. If everyone else is so much better than you, so be it with them, right?
He doesn’t respect your boundaries
These boundaries are different for everyone, but they are there and they are important. If he barges in on you at work because he “wants to see your colleagues” when you haven’t introduced him, if he demands you skip your weekly workout or your evening jog because he needs company, if he opens up on you in the bathroom without knocking while you’re, say, waxing and it’s really embarrassing for you, then that guy has no respect for you.
Questioning the things you believe in
Whether it’s your career, a favorite hobby, or anything that’s important to you, that you value in your life and want to live by, if he doesn’t respect that and talks about it in a mouthy, belittling way, he doesn’t respect you. These things are part of you, your values, your beliefs, your truth. What do you do with a man who despises all of these things?