If you’re already reading this article, you’re probably sensing that something is not right between you and your lover. You might be really starting to feel the emotions wane, but it could also be that you’re just in a rut. Maybe you’re just tired of certain problems, but you can still work things out. The US magazine Seventeen asked two relationship experts, what are the clear psychological signs that love is fleeting, maybe even over, so there’s probably no turning back.
If you question your feelings
As written above, if you keep asking yourself more and more: “Am I still in love with him?” – then there’s probably something wrong. If you are in love, you have no doubts. If you find yourself constantly looking for reassurance, for reasons to stay with the guy, then the inner emotional “boost” is no longer there, or at least it is severely diminishing.
If you want to spend less and less time with him
We mean if you REALLY don’t feel like spending time with him. Instead of a loving dinner or a cuddle, you’d rather go out for cocktails with the girls or jump at your mum’s dinner invitation. If you feel that you are putting a higher and higher wall between you and him, not because you want to hurt him, but because you don’t want to spend most of your time with him, then it’s probably pointless to force the issue.
If it starts to annoy you
And not just sometimes, but almost always. If you used to laugh your head off at the way he slurped soup or blew your hair follicles in your face, but now the same thing is making you climb the wall, you’re not in good hands. If you’re already into the living wood of your partner’s behaviour, it’s not him, it’s your feelings. Or lack thereof.
You’re fighting more and more
No relationship is perfect, and fights – if not too frequent – are a necessary part of problem solving and conflict resolution. But if you find yourselves bickering over every little thing, and even teasing and criticising each other in increasingly bitter and hurtful ways, it’s time to have a talk. Maybe there’s just some lingering problem between you that can be worked out. But unfortunately, it could also be that there is no point in fighting for each other or for the two of you anymore.
If you barely talk about it to other people
A woman in love chats about the object of her adoration day and night. To her friends, her family, her colleagues. This naturally subsides a little over time, but when it almost completely stops, it’s a bad sign. If you don’t feel like talking about it any more, if you don’t weave it into your little stories to other people, into your everyday trifles, then you’ve become so emotionally detached from it that you almost don’t consider it a part of your life.