Breaking up with someone you’ve been with for a long time is easier said than done. How do you even know that breaking up is the right decision? Here are seven things that indicate it might be best for you to go your separate ways.
Unfortunately, many relationships don’t last a lifetime, but end for various reasons. If you’ve been with someone for a long time and the relationship is at a standstill, it can be especially difficult to know if you still want to be together.
“I think many relationships have passed their ‘best before’ dates and one or both partners simply stay in them out of habit and convenience. Many people know deep down that they are faking it with another person. Trust your gut. You probably know the truth… and what you need to do,”
Sometimes, as I said, the best thing to do is to end a relationship that no longer brings you joy and happiness. Here are seven signs you might want to break up.
You’re living separate lives
Being able to share good as well as sad moments is one of the many wonderful things about being in a relationship.
No couple should spend all their waking hours together. However, if you hardly ever see your partner or don’t feel any joy from spending time together, that’s a bad sign. This is especially true if you look at couple-time as a boring beginning or a must.
You’re thinking “what if” about other people
Having little crushes or sometimes letting thoughts of an ex fly by in your head is nothing strange, but if you constantly start thinking about having a relationship with people other than your partner, it could be a clear sign that you’re about to break up.
If you’re constantly looking or thinking about other people in your life, or strangers for that matter, then it might be better to date one of them than to stay with your current partner. It may subconsciously indicate that you’re unhappy with your situation as it is now.
You’re ashamed of your partner/your partner annoys you
In the beginning of a relationship, you think kind of everything your partner does is cute. But if, further into the relationship, you find yourself easily annoyed by all the little things your partner does, it doesn’t bode well.
If your opinion of your partner has become extremely negative, it’s probably time to end the relationship. You shouldn’t worship your partner, but if you regularly feel disgusted, annoyed, or ashamed by their behaviour – what’s the point of staying together.
You’re staying in the relationship for someone else’s sake other than your own
In a long-term relationship, it’s natural for your lives to intertwine, which can make breaking up feel harder than it needs to be.
If you stay with a person because of someone else’s expectations or opinions, the relationship will never work long-term. So, even if your mum loves your partner or your dad is harping on about grandchildren, don’t let that influence your decision.
You’re looking for validation elsewhere
If you’re not getting validation from your partner, or if you don’t feel appreciated, it’s no wonder you’re trying to get it from someone else. But it’s not healthy to constantly seek affirmation from someone other than your partner instead of addressing the problem in the relationship.
If you’re seeking emotional validation elsewhere (consciously or unconsciously) it might be worth taking a step back and really taking an honest look at your relationship.
You regularly think about cheating
When thoughts of cheating on your partner in detail (in other words, you have a thought about who you’d like to cheat with) regularly come up, it’s a big red flag.
If you’re considering cheating, you might also need to take another look at things. Some people cheat for the emotional connection, while others cheat for the physical connection, other people just fall in love and cheat for both of those reasons, says Reynolds. Think about why you get those thoughts, and then figure out a way to address it with your partner – even if it means going your separate ways.
Your gut tells you something is wrong
Gut feelings are not something to be ignored, but taken seriously. If you have a feeling that all is not well in your relationship, it probably isn’t. Sometimes your gut, heart and brain all say different things, but then you need to be able to talk to your partner about it and either try to sort out the problems or decide that maybe the best thing for both of you is to end the relationship.