Unconditional love: does it really exist?
For many, true love is associated with loving unconditionally. But what exactly is hidden behind the term “unconditional love”? How do you find it? How does one love unconditionally? And: Is unconditional love really the key to happiness in love?
What does unconditional love mean?
Unconditional love is, – as the name suggests, – not tied to any conditions. In other words: When you love unconditionally, you can be yourself. Your partner loves you from the bottom of their heart, without expectations of you and your love. He*she takes you as you are. You don’t have to be smarter, wittier, more attractive or more athletic. And: unconditional love does not require anything in return. You give what you are willing to give and your partner loves you for it.
How do you love unconditionally?
You’ve read the first paragraph and you still don’t quite see yourself in it? You ask yourself, “Why can’t I love unconditionally?”. Don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with that, and it has nothing to do with whether you’re capable of loving unconditionally. Many people chase from one relationship to the next and still haven’t felt that deep connection in love. More importantly, you can learn how to love unconditionally. Unconditional love begins with yourself. If you can free yourself from your past, do not include past partnerships as relationship patterns in new acquaintances and especially if you love yourself, you can love unconditionally and find true love.
For many, true love is associated with loving unconditionally. But what exactly is hidden behind the term “unconditional love”? How do you find it? How does one love unconditionally? And: Is unconditional love really the key to happiness in love?
What does unconditional love mean?
Unconditional love is, – as the name suggests, – not tied to any conditions. In other words: When you love unconditionally, you can be yourself. YoUr He*she takes you as you are. You don’t have to be smarter, wittier, more attractive or more athletic. And: unconditional love does not require anything in return. You give what you are willing to give and your partner loves you for it.
How do I find unconditional love? 7 tips
Self-esteem
As mentioned earlier, it is only possible to love unconditionally when you are at peace with yourself. Self-love ensures that we do not expect our partner to complete us. If you stand by yourself one hundred percent, are not afraid not to please and feel comfortable in your body, you radiate that. This not only attracts other people, but is also a good foundation for truly loving and being loved.
listening
Ask yourself if you are really listening to the person? Most of the time this is not the case – without us really noticing it. Do you already think about what you could say next when the other person is speaking? This is not good behavior. To build affection, acceptance and trust, you should actively listen. How does that work in a two-person relationship? Practice it with these tips:
- Listen attentively to the other person
- Then reproduce the content in your own words
- Go into his views, the facts and his feelings
- Also include the information that you could read between the lines.
- Your thoughts are also important. What do you think about the situation and how do you feel about it?
honesty
Honesty is also somewhat related to the first point. Those who have enough self-confidence are less likely to be dishonest. Don’t be afraid to freely express your desires, feelings, thoughts, needs, and concerns. Don’t pretend. Openness is very important in terms of unconditional love.
respect
No question about it – respect is essential in every area of life. But as important as this attribute is, we often look for respectful interaction. Especially in partnerships, mutual appreciation often gets lost because we are usually far too preoccupied with ourselves. Not so if you love unconditionally. You will see that you meet each other at eye level, strike an appropriate tone and show empathy.
positivity
Man is a perfectionist. And the more privileged we are, the more we look for mistakes that are actually meaningless. Your partner has habits that you don’t find optimal? As long as they are trifles, you should practice acceptance, at least if you love unconditionally. Maybe it helps you in these moments to just focus on the positive? Why do you love her*him so unconditionally?
renunciation of reciprocation
Of course, this tip actually already includes the explanation of unconditional love. Nevertheless, we’ll mention it again. You paid for dinner the other night or helped him/her with a difficult task? Do not hold this against him/her. Unconditional love calls this a matter of course and sooner or later everything balances out.
cohesion
We often withdraw as soon as things get complicated. No matter if it’s an illness, a financial shortage or other strokes of fate – even if it burdens you yourself, your support is needed here. Be at his or her side when he or she needs you. Conversely, you can also count on his*her support.
How do I maintain unconditional love?
True love – doesn’t it sound wonderful to find a person who takes you as you are? With all the rough edges? A relationship between two people in which you can let yourself go. A person you trust from the bottom of your heart and who loves you unconditionally for not being perfect? Who has no expectations, gives us love and affection and enriches our lives? If you have found such a love, you can consider yourself very lucky. But remember: a relationship is work even if it is unconditional. Here we have tips on how you can maintain unconditional love and happiness.
- Always remember the beginning of your relationship, – even if it was years ago. The first kiss, the first tingle, the first moment when you thought: That’s him*her. When you regularly think back to the first days of your acquaintance, you always remind yourself how much your partner has enriched your life and continues to do so from day to day. You should never lose this appreciation.
- Love has no boundaries. Even if you have found true love, you have not reached the end. Day by day, this deep connection builds. At some point you will realize that the love between you is so great that it is still there even when your partner is not there. Withdrawal of love? No way. You will notice: Just the thought of him/her makes you happy. Trust also plays an important role here.
- The longer we know a person, the less we shy away from criticizing them. Sometimes this can lead to arguments or even the end of a relationship. But it should not come to that. Do you love unconditionally? Then you appreciate your partner for his or her imperfections.
Unconditional love: But only spiritual nonsense?
While many romantics firmly believe in this form of relationship, there are also critics who consider unconditional love to be spiritual. Partly there are even the opinions that this relationship form is not possible at all. At least in the matter of partnership. So there is also an unconditional love between mothers and their children. Mother love, however, meets with less criticism. Why do many consider unconditional love to be nonsense? Well, because this form of relationship would basically also allow deeds that are so incompatible with our values and morals. Theoretically, in this unconditional two-way relationship, one would also accept being beaten or the partner doing harm to other people. Moreover, even the relationship form of monogamy would be questioned. So here we already set the first condition for the behavior of our partner: She should decide for one person.
Unconditional love far from a relationship of two
There is not only unconditional love in a relationship of two. Thus, unconditional love also finds appeal in spirituality. Many also associate this concept of love with God. And: The mother love and/or the love between parents and child is likewise in most cases not attached to conditions.
- The unconditional mother love: Especially the mother-child relationship is described as unconditional. Especially when the child is still small, this love term often falls. A mother loves her baby no matter what it does. The child cries, – gladly also in the middle of the night, – wants to be fed. It is in need of protection and a mother still loves the child without conditions. In today’s world, of course, the love of fathers for their child is also unconditional.
- Unconditional love from God: Many people draw their strength from faith in God. His love is also not conditional.
Conclusion
If we do not look too theoretically at the facts of unconditional love, it is quite possible to fall in love unconditionally and to have a relationship of such deep connection and affection. However, in order for us to find this love, we must first work on ourselves. And the relationship itself is not a gift to be strived for either. We are constantly evolving, and with that our needs change. So does love. It must be protected and nurtured. This requires patience, understanding, and sometimes also putting things on hold – only in this way do we find true love. And that is reward enough, isn’t it?