They cultivate an active optimism
More than just a belief, more than just a hope that things will turn out well, active optimism is defined by George S. Everly as a commitment – moral – to act to make things happen. In resilient relationships, both partners avoid cynicism, criticism, and hurtful comments directed at the other (and at themselves). In addition to this virtuous circle, they have confidence in themselves: they know that together they are stronger.
They show honesty
These couples believe that honesty and integrity is the best policy. They try to practice it on a daily basis. Each also accepts responsibility and accepts to forgive the other for their weaknesses and small – or larger – betrayals, as well as to forgive themselves.
They are determined to
They have the courage to make decisive decisions (moving, starting a project together, leaving everything to travel around the world), even if these decisions can be risky and a source of anxiety.
They are tenacious
In the face of life’s hazards, setbacks, and failures, they fight discouragement with extraordinary perseverance, notably thanks to strong mutual support. Nevertheless, they also know when to let go and move in another direction.
They show self-control
Still according to George S. Everly, self-control is the ability to control one’s impulses, to avoid behaviors that are destructive for the couple and that hurt love (outbursts, denigration, nastiness…) and, conversely, to take care of the couple.
They know how to communicate well
A strong relationship is one in which both partners are able to communicate well, express their needs and hear the needs of the other. For George S. Everly, more often than not, the conversations we don’t want to have are the ones we need to have.
In these couples, a certain serenity reigns. Non-judgment and cooperation are the order of the day. Everyone can express their ideas, feels encouraged to propose new solutions, to think beyond the norm and knows that they can count on the other person to think together and to put their desires into action.