1- Don’t be constantly obsessed by your appearance
You are a full-fledged person, with a body of course, but also and above all a head, with a brain made to think, feel and act, and yet first and foremost you define yourself by your physical appearance, by the image you send to others, by your figure, your appearance, your style. It’s human, it’s true. We scan the other with a look, we gauge the physical, the first impression.
But you, are you just a look? Only a silhouette? Just a walk? A body envelope? Only an appearance?
Lack of self-confidence is often linked to our physical appearance, to our small imperfections that we too easily judge as complexes. So yes, you may find yourself too small or not small enough, tall, thin, round, not liking your mouth, stomach or legs, but being in a perpetual quest for superficial perfection will prevent you from concentrating on your true goals.
Take care of yourself, of your image to feel good about yourself but also learn to love your famous imperfections that you see as flaws but which can ultimately be real assets to build your originality, your own identity.
2- Stop feeling persecuted
Are you one of those people who always feel targeted? With every conversation you have when you approach, are you convinced that we were talking behind your back? Do you often feel that you are criticized or that the slightest joke about you is made with more cynicism or irony? Do you make your life miserable by wondering what others might think of you?
Your experience has probably created this mistaken belief in you, which is unfortunately ingrained and socially blocking. You feel laughed at, gossiped about, at the center of all the negative conversations around you or, on the contrary, excluded from their centers of interest.
Convinced that everyone hates you, criticizes you, judges you or even worse wants to hurt you, you feel a deep sense of injustice.
Beware, through misunderstandings, you will end up as a paranoid victim, cultivating your mistrust, your susceptibility and your false judgment that will lead you straight into the throes of feeling persecuted!
Stop always telling yourself that the whole world wants to hurt you. Do you really think that the people around you have only one thing to talk about: “you”? Broaden your vision, the world doesn’t revolve around you, right?
3- Stop comparing yourself to others and feeling inferior.
What good does it do you to tell yourself that your neighbor, colleague, or even a girlfriend is better than you? Better in what way? It makes sense that you are always “more and less” than someone else. Each of us has our strengths, our strengths, but also our weaknesses.
Each of us is unique, any comparison is unfair and above all useless. So yes, we constantly compare the worst of our characteristics with the best of others. But this is a vicious circle, an unhealthy game that has no end.
To use your energy for such comparisons, to cultivate your feeling of inferiority, is to prevent you from redirecting it elsewhere, towards what is essential, towards what will really make you move forward.
Do you want to stop comparing yourself unnecessarily to others because you’ve realized that it doesn’t bring you anything positive?
Then compare yourself only with yourself. Yes, compare your current successes with those of the past, observe, note, appreciate your personal evolution.
And if you are not there yet, another good way to be sure of yourself is not to compare yourself to others, but rather to learn from them.
Learn from them, from the lives of the people you admire and be inspired by their backgrounds.
4- Don’t keep blaming yourself on others
With each setback, each mistake, each failure, it’s always the same refrain that comes back over and over again, “it’s not my fault, it’s the others'”. This is the easy way to clear yourself, to refuse to acknowledge your share of responsibility for the situation you find yourself in.
“It’s because of my co-worker that I’m having so many problems at work today” or “It’s my spouse’s fault if I feel so bad. »
So yes, you live in constant interaction with others, you interact with them and as such, there are of course situations in which others play a role in what you experience, whether positive or negative.
But blaming them for the slightest mistake or for all of your failures will not help you. For even if this is true, how will it help you?
“It’s not me, it’s her! It’s not me, it’s her!” It’s worthy of a six-year-old child, and still, isn’t it?
So to get out of this endless loop, there is only one truth, one simple and effective rule of life, one mantra even, to tell you and to apply for every situation that causes negativity or failure: “I am responsible for my actions”. Does it sound silly like that? It’s the basis of everything!
5- Look on the bright side by developing your optimism
You know the famous popular image of the glass being half full and half empty? This simplistic metaphor is a perfect illustration of this bad habit you have: for every situation, every change, every decision you have to make, you automatically see what’s wrong, you focus only on the negative, the possible obstacles, the difficulties.
You are one of those who see life through the prism of pessimism and because of this, you have become accustomed to seeing yourself, to considering yourself in this way. And it is an attitude that ends up being totally sterile.
The habit of immediately thinking about your own limits or hypothetical obstacles does not allow you to reach your goal. You don’t just procrastinate, no, you don’t even act, rooted in the mistaken belief that things will go wrong anyway, or that you won’t make it. You lack enthusiasm, optimism, positivity. You risk developing a fear of everything, an impossibility of being in control of your destiny and you will lose even more self-confidence.
Understand that failures are only a stage and part of your project, that they are inherent to almost every life experience and can ultimately become potentially rewarding or enriching. There is little success without obstacles, without intermediate failures. Failure is a reason to change your mind about how to achieve your goal, it is not a reason to abandon it.
6- Learn to stop living in the past
Ah, the famous, “what if”… We have all used this hypothetical beginning of a sentence. “And if I had done that, if I had said yes, if I had made another decision…”.
So much energy wasted in dwelling on the past, on what you have lived through, unrolling in your head the film of your personal history and asking yourself what you could have done, what you should have done to make your life different today and bring you what you want.
Do you really believe that living in the past allows you to anchor yourself in your present and to apprehend your future? No !
Then, stop conjugating your life to the imperfect, it’s useless anyway, what is done cannot be undone, you have no more control over it. Regret has never made anyone move towards their life’s goal, it will not help you build your future.
So, being aware of your mistakes is good and as they say “it is better to have remorse than regret”, you will learn life lessons that you will not find by putting your life on hold.