Even if you feel like your relationship is hanging by a thread, this is not necessarily the case.
Being in a relationship is not the “long, quiet river” you might think it is. In the drunkenness of the first few months, everything can seem perfect. We tend to idealize the other, to exaggerate their qualities and deny their faults: to dream and create a world that fills our eyes with illusions. But when passion falls back, the crisis begins. Suddenly, what was so perfect is no longer perfect. We begin to notice each other’s flaws, conflicts begin and we don’t feel as “in love” as we used to.
What happens? Something much more normal than you think. This happens to all couples. If this happens to you, don’t despair! You are at a “turning point”. And even if you feel like everything is hanging by a thread, it’s not necessarily the case. If you get past this moment, you can take the next step and deepen your love for something much more real.
You disagree
Being in a couple is not always thinking the same thing. It is normal that you have different opinions about things and this can provoke discussions. But no one is “right” or “wrong”: you can have different points of view: what is important is that you learn to respect the other person’s point of view. If the disagreement is about issues directly related to the couple, such as the meaning of “a,” “death” or “fidelity,” you will need to reach an agreement.
You have different tastes
Another illusion of romantic love is that you have to “share everything”. The false idea of “soul mates” or “halves” finding and complementing each other. You need to understand that the good thing about sharing with the other person is that they are different from you! So he or she will be your master and will be able to teach you new things, make you see things from an angle you didn’t know.
You are no longer so stuck together
It is normal that after the fusion phase of the beginnings, you don’t need to be glued to each other all the time. You may both want to see a little more of your friends (if, at some point, you have seen less of them), have more space for yourself, and you may even be less affectionate. This doesn’t necessarily mean that this is the end of your love: it could even be the beginning of a more mature stage.
