It takes time, of course, sometimes a lot of time, but if you want to instigate yourself in the right direction, you also have to commit and pull out all the strength you have left.
Make a list with what you hate about him.
One of the secrets to getting over an ex-boyfriend is to make a list in which you put down on paper what you hate about him. You need it to remind yourself that you are on the right track: no matter if he dumped you, you have plenty of reasons to leave him behind. Make it in block letters, stick it on the fridge and repeat the points every morning. Keep a copy in your purse, too, in case during the day you feel like writing him a melancholy message. You don’t need to think about the good things, remember that he has hurt you, put what you feel for him in a box and kick it to the back of a drawer.
Stop naming him
Mark down how many times a day his name comes out of your mouth or you mention his person with someone, try to halve this number in a week, and then make an effort to completely erase his name from your conversations. Not mentioning his name will do you incredible good. It will be like fading some of his power, making him exist a little less, making you more in control of yourself and feeling like you are regaining control over your happiness.
Strive not to feel resentment
Hate is just another face of love, it still means feeling something that keeps you bound to him.
It is certainly not easy but you should make an effort not to resent him, not to feel resentment.
That’s the only way to start over after a separation and continue peacefully on your way, without looking back. Think that he is the one who loses out and the one who will regret his decision. You have no reason to resent him because soon you will be happier.
Reopen a project you have been neglecting for a long time.
Something you have been dreaming of doing for a very long time? A project in the drawer that you never had time to develop when you were with him? A trip to plan that you have been thinking about taking for a long time but he always put it off? Now there is nothing stopping you from devoting time to it, pull it out of the closet of unfinished business and give it the attention it deserves. You will feel as happy as little girls and be proud of yourself.
Try not to see everything black
We know, getting over an ex-boyfriend is not easy at all. But the way you see things affects your life more than you can imagine, so if you see everything black you will remain mired in a bubble of sadness and discomfort and push away all the good things that come your way like the vape does with mosquitoes. Do you really want to reject happiness and carry your Fantozzi cloud with you? Remember that the time you are wasting complaining is yours alone.
So, when the past haunts you, don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself, rather put aside your tears and rebuild your life.
Fill your schedule with commitments.
Do, do, do lots of things.
Go to the movies, to that exhibition you’ve been wanting to see for so long, a weekend in Venice, the calligraphy class, the Gregorian chant lesson, the happy hour with your elementary school friends, your granddaughter’s recital. You don’t say no to anything. Don’t stay home, don’t stay alone. The important thing is to do things, not think about him, and avoid melancholy moments, especially the weekend.
Think about the future
How to forget an ex-boyfriend? Simple, start thinking about your future. Do it in a positive way and start imagining it without him by your side. However, this should not make you sad; on the contrary, it should make you feel free and in control of who you are and of the millions of possibilities in front of you. The important thing is to stop looking back and crying over what is no longer there.
Immediately after a breakup, your self-esteem plummets to levels that go underground, but slowly you need to commit to rebuilding it, to getting it back to the levels it once was, the ones that allow you to paint a smile back on your face and look at yourself in the mirror without feeling like crap or a complete failure. Take your time but commit to getting back on track.
Vent out on sports.
You need to release negative energy. Sure you could do it by ordering five gin and tonics on Friday night, but after a month you would need to be admitted to an alcoholic recovery center.
So, if you need to throw out negative energies without self-destructing let off steam with sports. It doesn’t matter which one. Yoga, tennis, crossfit, boxing–do something that allows you to turn off your brain and unload your mind.
Go out with someone
You probably don’t feel like it but you should make an effort. To get over a man, the old saying nail it really works. Maybe these dates will be disasters but they will serve as a distraction to get you back in the game, give you some levity. So catch up with old suitors, flirt with colleagues or the guy at the gym who always makes eyes at you, ask him out, throw yourself into it, try to shake things up and you will see that good things will happen and this period will soon be just a distant memory.