Some people love being single, some people hate it. Some like being single for a while, but then want to find a sweetheart to hold. If you’re single and would like to be in a relationship, but just can’t find that special someone, it could be because of this stuff.
You’re raising your ex to fame
There’s a reason you and your ex broke up. They’re not as good as you think, but it’s easy to just remember everything that was good about the relationship – especially when you’re single and longing for a new relationship. It’s even harder to find someone if you keep thinking that no one will ever measure up to your ex. But I promise, it does.
You still have your ex in your life at all
Yes, you can be friends with your ex. Of course, every relationship looks different and everyone deals with breakups differently, but hanging out with your ex and talking to your ex every day (just like you did when you were a couple) is like still having a relationship – only you’re not sleeping together. Also, going from being a couple to being friends right after you break up also makes it harder for you to start thinking about other hotties around you, not to mention that they’ll probably think there’s still something going on between you and your ex.
You’re playing too hard to get
Well, the game, guys. What the hell is this stuff anyway? If you like someone – show it! Don’t wait x number of hours to reply to a text message. Reply when you have time, even if it means replying immediately when your phone rings. Showing that you like someone and opening up is really cool, but if you play too hard to get, it could also mean that the person you like 1) doesn’t get that you like them or maybe 2) gets tired of waiting and moves on. Besides, telling someone you like them is kind of the bravest thing there is, and brave is always cool to be, right?!
You count someone out because they don’t have what’s on your checklist
“You’re too picky,” is a comment you often hear as a single person (because it’s not just me, is it?). But there I disagree – you shouldn’t settle and get with the first person who comes along just because you want a relationship. There’s a lot that needs to go right. On the other hand, you can forget about your little checklist, because you’ll never find a person who meets all the requirements listed there. Just find someone who makes you feel excited, happy and in love (because that’s so much easier).
You think every little resistance is the end
Just because you’ve had an argument or a small fight doesn’t mean it’s over, as long as you don’t want it to be. But remember that things WILL go wrong and be difficult in a relationship, that’s how it is for everyone. If you end it with people as soon as you have a small argument, you will be single forever. Instead, communicate with each other and solve the problem.
You’re always complaining about being single
Whether you complain to your friends, your family or just to yourself, you still put energy into it. The negative energy will then follow you. And a negative person is usually not the one you are attracted to perhaps. Turn your mindset around and think about all the positives of being single, because there are plenty! A happy and positive person is someone you want to be with, so soon some lovely person might turn up (when you least expect it etc).
You let your friends approve every text you send them
It’s not your friends who want a relationship with this person – it’s you. Letting your friends have a say in just about every text message that comes your way will not only make it take you a hundred years to reply every time, it will also make it so that the person won’t get to know you properly. Write your own texts, and only ask your friends for advice when it’s really needed. Sometimes you can actually use a little support from your BFFs.
You refuse to go on a date sober
Drinking alcohol to calm your nerves before a date isn’t particularly uncommon. First dates especially are scary and can be as uncomfortable as they get – but you don’t need alcohol in your system to deal with it. And as soon as you get started on the date, the worst of the nervousness usually goes away. Plus, turning to alcohol for these reasons can be harmful to you and your body.
You’re mistaking your fear of relationships for a bad gut feeling
There are bad feelings, and then there are fears. The two things are not the same thing. Gut feelings are meant to be followed, and fears are meant to be overcome, as Elite Daily so eloquently puts it. Don’t mistake your fears for the feeling that a relationship won’t work out with a bad gut feeling. If you don’t gamble, you can never win, as the cliché goes.
You’re assuming it won’t work, given past conditions
Thinking you’ll never find love just because your previous relationships didn’t work out is like a recipe for failure from the start. Your mindset affects SO much, like if you think it won’t work out, it won’t. However, going all in and betting that a new relationship will be for the rest of your lives increases the chances of that possibility much more.