The job comes first
Your husband is obsessed with his career and spends most of his time at the office. Whether he’s sick, you’re celebrating your anniversary, or the big Christmas dinner with grandma and grandpa is coming up: He’s always and everywhere available for his colleagues and the boss – vacation or a break are foreign words to him.
When it comes to family planning, you also have to reckon with the fact that he won’t make any compromises in terms of his job and that you will be alone at home with your baby. It is now up to you to clarify whether you want this.
His lifestyle reveals if he is ready for a child
The contents of the fridge, if he had his way, would consist of beer, old food from the delivery service, milk mice and an open jar of pickles. On weekends, he likes to go out and party all night – he has to see his buddies at least three times a week.
If his lifestyle so far is anything to go by, he’ll have a hard time taking responsibility for the upbringing and health of a child.
His future plans
On your man’s bucket list the music festival “x” is on top, otherwise his future plans are rather vague and change from day to day. This may have worked great for you as a couple and you love his spontaneity and adventurousness.
However, it is not the ideal condition for a baby, who will demand clear structures and a lot of reliability from you.
The comparison among your acquaintances
Many of your friends and acquaintances have already had offspring or are planning to in the near future. However, your husband changes the subject when it comes to the children of others.
Even at barbecues, he can’t do very much with the babies that everyone else admires and fusses over. The topic “child” or “desire for children” obviously does not play a role in his world yet.
Of course, the desire to have a child is different for everyone and very individual. However, if your desire for a child becomes stronger, you should talk to your partner about whether he wants to go in this direction with you, whether he still needs time, or whether a child is out of the question for him. This will give you clarity. After all, in a well-functioning partnership you should be able to talk about everything.