One hundred percent certainty does not exist in life – but this one person at least gives us that feeling. We simply feel that he would never intentionally stab us in the back or abuse our trust. And that is why we can let ourselves go with him, be ourselves and reveal everything about ourselves to him, including our weaknesses and mistakes.
In every partnership there are quarrels and in extreme cases we even hurt each other so badly that our hearts are broken. But when true love is involved, we can forgive each other even for that – also because we know that the other person suffers as much as we do when something comes between us.
If we love a person from the bottom of our hearts, we do not have to idealize or glorify him. We see him as he is, imperfect, vulnerable and capricious, but we do not want to change him – on the contrary! We love him not in spite of his flaws and tics, but because of them, even if they may sometimes drive us to white heat.
For better or worse, and when in doubt, it’s you and me against the world! We would stand by our favorite person even if they were objectively in the wrong. When love is involved in our emotional world, reason always gets the short end of the stick. And: If it is about him, even egoism quickly becomes selflessness!
We expect nothing for our love (except that it is based on reciprocity!), no thanks, no return service and, as said, certainly no diet or “self-optimization” of the other. We have no expectations or demands of this one person, we love him unconditionally – because the very existence of our partner gives us more than we ever expected from life.
Sure, you should respect every person! But while we respect other men and women rather naturally and casually (so that there are not so often stink in everyday life), we feel for our partner almost a kind of admiring respect. We see the person as a whole and respect him for all that he is.
Yes, you can be jealous even if you trust someone one hundred percent. In fact, it has been scientifically proven that almost all of us, when we love, are also jealous. After all, we prefer to have our partner all to ourselves, and the fact that we often have to share him in (with colleagues, friends, strangers …) can sometimes be quite unpleasant. (Attention: If it becomes unbearable and almost pathological, we should fight our jealousy, because often there is something else behind it!)
No, we don’t have to constantly squat on each other and maintain eye contact. In a relationship based on mutual love, both parties are free, independent and self-sufficient. But when we are separated (for a longer period of time) or get into certain situations alone, there is usually only one thing missing: that one person who belongs by our side.
Feeling compassion for others is easy. But having compassion and unconditional understanding is something we have for only a few, and in doubt, only one. 360-degree empathy is therefore almost always a sign of love.
As soon as we love, we make ourselves vulnerable! We are afraid of losing him, afraid that he will hurt us, afraid that love will die. But even though fear is a terrible feeling: all that our love relationship gives us makes it worth it.
Perhaps the most beautiful side effect of true love: it changes us (for the better)! Those who love feel free, confident, balanced, independent and content. No wonder, then, that we all dream of it …