Depressive Love: What Do We Do When We Encounter It?

Generally speaking, we can talk about love based on: renunciation, the view that nothing the individual could do is good and is pointless because nothing really matters.

How does this form of love manifest itself?
Manifestations differ from one individual to another, depending on temperament, character, education, past traumas, and life experience. However, generally speaking, we can speak of love based on: renunciation; the opinion that nothing the individual could do is good is pointless because nothing really matters.

Distinct behaviours can be the following:

  • I always feel down, sad, pessimistic
  • I am afraid to try because I am afraid of the process but also a failure
  • I believe that no matter what I do, I still fail because I see in everything I try only the options in which I will fail.
  • I’m not as good as others; I feel inferior.
  • I want to achieve great things, but I am not willing to take the first step.
  • I’m always looking for people to put myself in the shadow of
  • I want to feel protected by others who have achieved promising careers and benefit from their social or material position.
  • How can partners be affected by such manifestations?

In terms of psychological disorders, we can talk about:

  • depression
  • anxiety
  • panic attacks
  • hypochondria
  • personality or behavioural disorders
  • addiction to: drugs, alcohol

We can also talk about certain functional disorders, such as:

  • sleep disorders: insomnia, nightmares, interrupted sleep, sleepiness, feeling tired and not getting enough sleep
  • disorders of physical contact: anorgasmia, frigidity, erectile dysfunction
  • eating disorders: sudden weight gain or loss, obsessive-compulsive eating, bulimia, anorexia, obesity
  • Life as a couple will become tough because the partner of the depressed person will have to take over all the tasks, which will lead to arguments, separation, emotional blackmail, divorce, and extramarital relationships.

If a partner behaves as described above, does that mean they don’t love us?

NO. It means they have a rather severe problem, which they may be more or less aware of but urgently needs to be resolved.

How can such a problem be solved?
Depending on the severity, it can be resolved through psychotherapy. Or psychiatric medication in conjunction with psychotherapy sessions. Talking to a priest and rediscovering the power of faith can also help. The ways can be many, but it’s essential to take the first step to escape the burden of depressive love truly.