Breaking up is NEVER easy and anyone who has ever been in that situation knows that. Breaking up and then regretting it makes it even worse, so think carefully before you take the plunge.
To break up or not to break up? It’s one of the hardest questions in the world, and no matter what you come up with, it’s going to be hard. One mistake many people make is deciding one way or the other without talking to their partner, which is something you should always do (assuming the relationship isn’t abusive or otherwise harmful, in which case it’s best to talk to a friend and try to get out of it quickly).
There are a lot of issues that are good to talk through together before making a decision about the future. Here are some of them.
Are we happier when we’re with each other or when we’re apart?
If the answer is ‘apart’, that’s a clear signal that something isn’t working, and that a break-up might be the best way to go.
Do we always fight about the same things?
And are those things fixable? An important question to which many people can probably answer yes, they always fight about the same things with their partner. But do you think there is a solution? Then it might be worth finding out what it is and trying to make it happen.
Have we done our best to make it work?
Sometimes it’s easy to fool yourself that you’ve actually tried, it could be because you think you have or it could be because you don’t really want to try. But it can also be just the opposite, you’ve worked and worked and it’s just not working. It’s a tough realisation, but extremely important.
Are we together because we’re afraid to be alone?
A fairly common problem for many couples. Sometimes loneliness can feel so scary that you’d rather stay in a relationship that isn’t good, something that’s mean to both you and your partner.
Does all the good outweigh the bad?
The bumps and rough patches can often be outweighed by the good times, but when the bad ones outweigh the good, it can be a sign that the relationship has come to an end – or at least needs to be worked on hard.
Are we still in love with each other?
The hardest question of them all, and the scariest. What if we answer differently? But this is also the most important question, so dare to answer it.
