Mistake #1: Believing that self-confidence is innate
“Confidence is an acquired skill. It’s up to you to develop it! “
It is wrong to admit that the lack of self-confidence is a genetic and natural inevitability that we could not remove. And therefore, to think that self-confidence is totally “innate”, that we are born with it, no ladies! You can acquire it, work on it and regain it. Without self-confidence, many of us would find ourselves completely abandoned in the face of our responsibilities and dreams, both professional and emotional. A person who is looking for self-confidence and is willing to do anything to achieve it, will then be able to move forward and fight against their social demons. It is possible to fail to acquire this ability for various reasons: difficult environment, complicated schooling or mixed social relations. But by working on your confidence, you will grow, at the same time, your self-esteem.
Mistake #2: “I’ll never make it!”
“These thoughts are paralyzing thoughts and can become real obsessions. They are real chains that we drag around without realizing it. They are indeed beliefs that are psychological blocks, negative thoughts and beliefs, psychological hindrances or even inner monsters stored in your mind. “
Do your own reprogramming!
It is time to see your opportunities from another angle: that of the possible. You need to get back in touch with yourself. Don’t remain stagnant on a “partial representation” of what you are. See things with hindsight, and therefore with a wider field of vision. Forget the negative focus, center yourself on an expansion of possibilities. You are the one in control, not the one who surrenders.
Mistake #3: Neglecting body language
“Nonverbal language makes up over 70% of communication. “
We smile, because charisma pays off ladies! What we see first is your face. So if you decide to frown, blink every 10 seconds and lower your eyes every time you address someone, it can be a failure. Smile! Boldly and honestly. Live your smile. Smile, because you feel good. And it should show.
Stand properly, because your gait gives you away, ladies! “It is the whole body that reflects the level of confidence of someone. Forget the stress, the nerves, the shame, the brutality of your gestures, and everything that could show, just by seeing your shoulders curled up, that self-confidence is not really your thing. So relax, stand up straight while being friendly, and accept the body and the person you are presenting!
“Indeed, one who maintains a relatively relaxed and open body language even in stressful situations can achieve a calmness of mind.”
Mistake #4: “I don’t like myself, I’m not good enough”
“Self-esteem refers to the self-worth that we give ourselves: ‘what do I feel I am worth and deserve. What are my values and ideas that I hold dear”.
We need a good dose of self-esteem to be an effective leader. And for that, Franck Nicolas gives us 4 advices:
Have a positive mindset in order to condition an assertive behavior. Give yourself your rights: to say no, to make mistakes, to choose or to ask. You control your thoughts and your thoughts define you. So even if it’s complicated, or doesn’t sound right, remember this thought: “You are as good as anyone else.
Take the time to realistically evaluate yourself. By writing down your goals and identifying your strengths, weaknesses, and past mistakes. The most important thing here is to give yourself time to introspect, to “meditate”, to question yourself.
Do not deny your fears. Face them, assume them, fight them. We all have them!
Protect yourself and your rights, while protecting and respecting the rights of others.
Mistake #5: Avoidance, inaction and the demand for perfection
If there is one word that should be removed from your vocabulary, removed from your life, removed from your memory, it is: Procrastination. Why do we put everything off until later? For several reasons actually:
- The perception that the task is unpleasant
- Fear of the unknown
- Fear of change
- Perfectionism
- Fear of failure
- Disorganization
Procrastination can have serious consequences and can cause you to miss great opportunities. So start by learning by doing and with patience.
“Learning by doing is the key to success when venturing into uncharted territory. You can’t wait to have all the answers right away. “
Set goals with a knowledge of your limits so that you can set achievable goals. Raise the level a little bit at a time, and observe the result to see what has changed and what still needs to be worked on.
“Why is it that some seem to be favored by the gods, while others see their most cherished dreams nipped in the bud? Bad luck? Inaptitude? What if it is above all a lack of knowledge of the rules of the game of life – as if we had lost the instructions and were trying, by trial and error, to find out how it works? “
Throw yourself into what you love and what you are capable of doing gradually.
Mistake #6: “Let’s be realistic: the world and life offer few possibilities”
“Success in life is often a matter of timing. Being in the right place at the right time can change your life where you least expect it: still, you have to be in the here and now by chasing away paralyzing thoughts. “
Everyone in life has their moment of glory, their good timing
Success is first attributed to effort, determination and a positive state of mind. Great men also attribute their success to “luck”. But in the end, that little bit of luck that could have led to such great success, is nothing more than “the attitude of being open to the present and seizing every opportunity”. It is a confidence you have, in yourself and in life.